It speaks volumes…

What speaks volumes..?

Your feelings…

Yeah those things that everyone tells you to tuck away and get on with business…

When one deals with evil…it causes a violent reaction within self…

No comprehension…which we view as wanting to be back with the evil…think we might miss them…

That is not even close to what is happening with you…

That is happening with evil…the being that only lives off the breath of life of others…they do not exist..without you..and you cause death to them…and each time their mask is removed..more life is taken from them…

So you get sad..disorientated..think..muse about you are missing them…NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do I know…? Spent time with evil and spend time much to evil displeasure thinking, exploring and feeling…not reacting…but taking action..

So here I sit and I hear it from many others who have spent any time with evil…and they wonder…I wonder…

Are they with someone else…?

Are they happy…?

And why do I feel sadness and want to break into tears…?

Because you know what that evil is..you know what it did to you..and what it is capable of doing…and sweetie…you do not want it to happen to anyone else..

That is the fact…

You see you are light…kind..generous…beautiful..magical..the dictionary does not contain words to describe how outstanding you are…

That is why they go after you…

And that is the reason for the misunderstood sadness…

The wanting to scream at them…

The wanting to see them stopped…

You have a heart…beating madly and wildly…

That is why you are spinning in circles….

And tears flow…

And this is so good…

Oh trust me on this…

I thought..I cannot stand the thought of him being with another…

And then I paused…

And I thought…I do not care who he is with..as long as it is not me…

And then I paused again…not totally true…

Follow me…

I was and am not jealous…and neither are you…

You are not thinking..oh my I wish I could be back there…he did not put enough holes in me with the knife..how about an icepick…

You are thinking…processing it as feeling…which brings tears to your eyes…

I do not want anyone else to feel what I am feeling…

I do not want anyone else for a second to feel the shame…dumped on you like a tsunami…

I do not want anyone else to feel any of this…

I do not want anyone else to take each lie…and there are so many and realize they are LIES…and then take each one and dissect it and know with such clarity that the evil is giving you a confessional…speaking about themselves..because it takes time to get there..

It takes strength…and when you have given all your strength to just keeping your head above water for the few seconds a day they give you…your strength wanes..

It took me 4 leave and come back and 1 leave and not come back to do that…

It has been 75 days of no contact..silence from my end of the world…

And in that 75 days…and each hour that goes by..that number gets higher…

I had to sort out feelings from lies..

Like this one…

Like me believing I missed him…

Or that I was jealous of the new victim..

So I took myself down that pathway…and said…

Are you jealous…? Do you miss him..?

And it is NO…

I do not miss him…I miss me…and everyday I get a new piece of me back..and I spend time with real, living, breathing beings…who tell me the truth of what I am…

And I am back into the profession of caring (look up the definition for that word) for people…the thing I was gifted to do with these strong hands and arms…because I change people..I help them heal..and I give them love..

And he has no idea where I am at…so he cannot come and take a crap on it…and bring fear into it..

Am I jealous of the new victim…? Another resounding no…

I ache with the thought of someone else…just minding their own business and having no reason to doubt anothers words.. is going to have to go through this…and maybe they will hear me and maybe they will not…

But I have to sit back and realize it is going to happen…

So take the time and feel what is going through you…

And you realize that you do not miss him…or her…and you are not jealous of the new one…

You have love…and kindness in you…

And when you pause and recognize what is happening with you… have that weepy, laughing cry…smiling the whole way through it…

Because you thinking you are gone..and damaged forever…

Is such a lie…you are not gone nor damaged…

And that revelation…of what is really happening with you…

You got back you…

Not just a part…all of you…

And realize one simple thing…

Evil does not try to destroy evil…

Evil tries to destroy GOOD…love…light..someone that is a threat to it..

So what does that mean about you…?

Did the thing try and destroy you..?

So there is your answer…

Now pause…

Congratulations….you have discovered what you really are…

And that is something…oh my something…nobody can take away…

Not because you went through this…this evil..to learn what you needed to learn…such crap…

But because you had the courage…to step out of the tunnel and find you..the person..the light being you knew was already there…and pursue that light…

Truth…It does set you free..

 

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~ by HopeGlenn on July 3, 2017.

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