Discomfort

I read a great quote today…

Discomfort is very much part of my master plan”  Jonathan Lethem

And then another from Buddha…

” Change is not painful, resistance to change is painful”

Oh how we try to move away from discomfort…it is like nails on a chalkboard..chewing on tinfoil…some thoughts from my generation…

The slightest intent that discomfort…something to make us rethink our master plan makes us bolt for…our addictions that keep us well…stuck..

The known..which may feel really bad and produce burn marks on us…we hold tight to us..yet any movement of letting go or stepping out of the known into he unknown makes us fiercely defend our things…

I do this because they do that…the most popular…

Behavior that can be explained because someone made us do it..

Recently I have experienced discomfort…not recently as if it is new..but I have a good example…

The notion of how I think of and view myself…

Being conditioned to believe that there was something wrong with me and I needed to be punished and directed into the proper direction due to this deficit has been my mode of operation..

And in that for many years I have had great discomfort…

And I showed it..being the fighter I can be and actually am…have protested…

And my protestations have caused me to be beaten even more so..

And these I realized produced a greater fight and strength in me than ever before..

yet my greatest discomfort has been changing my thought patterns about me..

You see I believed them…yet not all the way..because I am out and doing very well without all those things this world says I must have and need to be happy..

My discomfort came to the change level…which produced pain when I had to turn this all around and look at it from the well abuser’s view and what were they hoping to accomplish.

I fought thinking the truth about me…which is not even close to the ball park that some..not all have described me as..

That resistance I had to change was deafening…it was a constant megaphone glued to my ear screaming music and crap at me 24/7…

So not fun…

It increased the harder and harder I tried to push it away and live in the “idea” promoted in my heart by the abuser…

I finally saw myself as the threat…I was sugar coated about being..

I use threat in a very kind and positive way…

because people do not treat you as a threat until you rock the boat…ask what that smell is..challenge the status quo..

We are so conditioned to automatically apologize…when we have done nothing..rather than not apologize..

And thus change becomes this great looming, scary octopus coming to eat us while we sleep…while the little fishes nibble on our toes..

We stay away from the unease…the discomfort..apologize for breathing..and stay stuck..

Letting the discomfort in..makes one have to look and not surface look at one’s life..

To see where do I lie to myself…?

Why do I insist I am this..?

Where did it come from…?

How come and everyone’s fave..WHY..?

So I am standing in discomfort…and changing the quote just a tweak..

” Discomfort is very much part of the master plan”

Not just my discomfort, but everybody…

Let us not rest in our assumptions and addictions that keep us paralyzed..

Let us not watch another drink or drug themselves away without telling them, this is not the way to go…

Let us question why we feel guilty if we see another on the side of the road and we give them our all but we do not give ourselves the same action..

Let us question why I believe the lie over the truth..

Why am I intimidated by my own presence…?

Why do I think the change will hurt me and be the hardest thing I will ever do..?

Why am I so worried about other’s opinions that it can ruin my day..or my high from doing a job well and with my level of excellence..?

Why do I believe lies…?

I pray I stay in discomfort..

I pray that I will question myself as to why I believe the propaganda pumped at me..

And why your discomfort of me exists..as if we are in a competition..

I pray I keep changing…

So the next time someone sees me…they do not recognize me..and that will be their discomfort…hopefully breaking the resistance to change..

“Discomfort is part of my master plan”  Jonathan Lethem

 

 

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~ by HopeGlenn on June 11, 2017.

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