What up with the nice…?

I watch shows about chefs…

Shows about cooking…

Shows about stepping out of the lines drawn about us by our own hands..

Shows about creating beautiful food..knowledge of food..from the most difficult conditions..or perceived conditions..

Most of these “competitions” have ruthless competitors…note the word competitions…

People who will trade you in for a snicker-doodle in an instant..

People who will watch you get hurt and smile because it put them one step ahead..

Nor like an alcoholic..who will gut you for a sip of liquor..or sell their grandmothers antique lace bedspread for a six pack…

There is some Karma note in there, I am sure..

We have many in this country and not many if any in other countries..except one..

And it is the farthest thing from a competition..unless you are competing with yourself and trying to learn something or do a skill..anything well..to the best of your ability..

The British Baking Show

Has me transfixed…

Not because my love of cooking or baked goods…

But because the people are so kind..truly kind..

And I am dumbfounded..

I kind of do not know what to do with such reality…

Hmmm….

Sitting in my bubble of people who pass their illusions of reality about, can make one a cynic…

Yet what if you stepped out of their perceived illusions..because those are meant to keep you looking their way..

So I did..

And the flood gates opened…

I found many lies and liars..

I found that I was carrying on me their illusions that I dumped onto my life situations..and damn if that did mess up my life…

Now back to reality…

This show..The British Baking Show…is wow…

People are there to learn…people are humble…and that show taught me the definition of humble..

People share knowledge..people actually care…and they are glad..happy..overjoyed when another “wins” the round..because it only adds to the betterment of the whole…

Man oh man that scares me…

I have not been around that..I want to say ever…but I know in grade school I had a teacher like that..who when one student stumbled..it affected the whole group..so we all “repaired” so they were good and the whole group was good..there was no me..me..me..

And to be honest I cannot think of any instance of it being okay to be me..me..me..

Because everything I do..affects the whole..

I found that out in applying for a job..

I let another person who has a real sick attitude to puke on me..because he does not like people..why..?

Because they do not accept his vomiting on them..and I let his acid attitude bleed into my heart…

So I took everything wrong..and I made it about me…

And aint nothing about me…except the things that are about me…and do not confuse that with self care..

What I do..even writing this post..affects the whole…all of us..

Just like my choice telling a person I know..that I will not accept their drinking as a replacement over me..or even safety..

That I will not be placed on the same level as a drink..a beer..a sip of gin..nada..

That I will not be part of that game..and the destruction it sends out in waves to the whole..

When I did that..

I said..there is value..tremendous value..I have tremendous value..even the person on the corner asking for something…

So my view of thinking..(for a short moment in time)…I got to get the punch in..I have to make sure my stuff is protected…I have to make sure none of you ninnies get in front of me…made me believe lies and then be stupid..

So I realized, my new employer..had a valid place from where she was sitting…and it did not anger me anymore..it made me sad..

Because she had to say to a person over qualified, that it was needed for me to do my job..not because of me not doing my job all these years.. but because of those who did not do their job and she had to be their mother..and father..and hall monitor..and teacher..and the parent we refuse to be to our children..because we want them to like us..

Screw them liking me..what a patsy..

And so I do my best job…because it affects everything that happens while I am there..what happens after I leave for the day…the energy I leave there..it affects the whole..

It creates…The British Baking Show

Where everybody is an task to work towards a goal for the whole..

No lies..

No backstabbing..or setups so you win the prize..

Because this is not about the prize..

It is about the whole..and how this heart operates..affects how another heart operates..

We think..no one sees us in the garage or back hallway..pop the pill so we are given the illusion of virility and confidence..

We think no one sees us in the kitchen or outside while we pretend to play with the dog..take a sip or two or three…and more..and smell like something close to the dump on a 98 degree day..

We think we sleep it off..or we got a handle on it…

And then the dominoes start falling..

And no matter what you do..you in the lineup..

So which cooking show you want to be on…?

The one where you lose all your fingers…because someone said…they got a handle on their sickness..

Or the one where you give another a spoon from your drawer because their spoon dropped on the floor..and in the end there is this cake all can eat from..so beautiful..with no calories or fats..

Choose wisely..

Because the decision is not like Glamour Shots where the illusion disappears when the makeup is wiped off and the hair weave needs to be taken back..

The decision falls on me..me..me..

For you..you..you..

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~ by HopeGlenn on March 28, 2017.

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