Ready for Love When?

I heard the most absurd thing a few days ago…

And self admittance will tell you, I sort of fell for it…But that is due to the fact I was and partially am still viewing myself through the abusers eyes.

Well check check…that is now off the list of things to do.

Many who read this blog, know my history..

Child abuse, domestic violence marriage, 4 abusive sons, and relationships that were highly abusive.

Shocker right??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not surprising in the least.

The surprising fact is this…

I believed those blowhards that something was wrong with me…

That I held within this frame..a deficit.

Aww Come On…you held that belief too…

It is why you spent time, whatever amount it was, tracing the same circle with your toe in the sand, trying to figure out what was wrong with you…

Instead of realizing what was so right with you…and that is why you were chosen…

Oh, I made your ears perk up huh….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is way easier, way easier and more rewarding in the evil way to get another to doubt their beautiful existence. To confound, confuse, crush that beautiful mind.

It makes them so much more pliable to being abused.

You are back- doored continually for everything that is beautiful about you.

Well actually the truth of you…

Anything else is pure garbage…and you know it..even if it is making you mighty uncomfortable at the moment…I got ya.

I was told that I am now more available to be loved and to love, because I have run the good course and have finally cornered the problem….

I am going to interrupt the normal broadcasting system…beep beep…

From the moment I dwelled inside my mother(whether I was wanted or not)..I was ready and capable of being loved and loving.

From the moment I came forth into this world, yes this beautiful world..

I was and have been ready and willing to love and be loved, even during abuse.

Protecting self, guarding the heart, being wise, weeping for the assault on the soul(because believe me they do not weep for what they have done to you)….did not make me less capable, deserving, able to love and be loved.

We, you, me have been fed a smelly pack of horse doo doo…

You have been blindsided, pushed, antagonized, tortured into believing you are in a deficit….and they are the only source of supply to fill you up, bring about change and make you worthy of love…

Alas, poor me…

Had to throw that in…

The truth, the reality is this…

You are wounded….you are discouraged…you are slightly blinded….your reality has been torqued…you have been conditioned to believe love is anxiety drama…(sound familiar)…?

Yet you are fantastic….

You know what love is…you know how to love…you are worthy to be loved…you are loved(just not by the abuser).

There is no time frame..no requirements have to be met..no grades or certifications need to be passed..no intelligence..no looks..no skills…

It just is…

Take a breathe…

I know..you have not heard that in a long time…

You are right as rain….

You my lovely…are lovely…

No great classes to go to…to find where your heart went and how you managed to mess it up…you did not..

You need to do one thing..and one thing only…

Just go out in this world that loves you…and be…

And that my friend..is love

Not broken…no apologies..

Damn…what is next on the list…?

Advertisements

~ by HopeGlenn on February 27, 2017.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: