Vomit before…not during…

Never been one to be seasick….

The rocking of the boat never disarmed me….

It did the opposite…

It made me learn to balance better…

Be more fluid….

Not removing or slightly pinching boundaries…

Just seeing more views than the one seen from my periscope…

But I am a bit queasy now…bit seasick…

Because I am too adaptable…

Too easy to take excuses for action…

And then clean it up…

And when you are down on the floor…mopping up the vomit…and the room is spinning…

You think…

Or rather you feel…and you cannot get out of it…

Why am I so bounce backy…?

Why am I so resilient..?

Why am I so profoundly comfortable cleaning up the vomit…

I had no place in making…

Resilient or way too easily played for this gentle heart…?

I am going with the latter….

I am too easily played….

Because I have been doused in the pool of pity…feeling sorry for you…never me…

And you know..pity is the last thing I want..so why would I give it to another…

When we pity something..we want to put it out of it’s misery….

We surely do not want to help it…heal it…have it look in another direction…

When I am truly resilient…I look to a higher purpose…

When I can just bounce back from evil…chaos…being slung at me…forced down my throat…

All I am doing is stomaching your vomit….swallowing it whole…

And learning to take one more attack…one more boundary erased…violated…

I am not becoming as they say “spill proof”….waterproof…nothing…

Resilient…

I like that description of me….

But rather than bouncing back….and seeing the same old drama repeated…the same old evil done over and over again..and one complaining about the temperature of the water….

I am going to be resilient…not let your crime of choice be my damnation…

I am not going to believe that the heart operates like an algebra equation….

I am going to be resilient as my being is bent over backwards aching from the pain I witness…

And knowing…that these hands…this voice….

Have the power to create…

Because every time I bounce back from the latest greatest drama disaster….

The monster in the closet…just grew 3 inches….and the smell coming from the closet its profane….

Resiliency….mighty powerful when used properly….

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~ by HopeGlenn on September 29, 2015.

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