Teacher….

The greatest teacher I ever met….

Told me the simplest statement….which made the most sense….

Unlocked the dungeons…

Here is the back story….

I have spent a lifetime of making everyone else comfortable with what happened to me….

Never for a second have I ever made sure I was comfortable….or did anything to give myself a sense of safety….

Until that moment….

I was explaining..(and please do not do this…it is a waste of your time…)

The reason why I needed to have the doors and windows locked….

We all know this comes from boundary violations….

It is a way…a method I feel secure in my space…my skin….and this skin does belong to me…

After fruitless moments…I stepped away…

And later…a few weeks later I explained to my teacher this action…

A smile spread across their face…

And I was puzzled….

Because I thought something was wrong with me….and I needed fixing….

Nope…I had it wrong…backwards and upside down….

The words spoken were this….

“Mandy….you do not need to explain to anyone why you do this or that…why you need order…or what you need to feel secure….

This is about no one else but you….

Not the child…the neighbor…the friend…the co-worker….nobody…

Just me…

I needed to do whatever I needed to do…to feel….

Safe…

Secure…

Calm…

Peaceful…

Joyous….

This is not about anyone understanding you….getting you…thinking they got you figured out…

You get you…

You cannot peel off this skin and make a new one…to crawl into…

You must do what ever makes you feel well happy and safe….

Great thoughts in such a simple sentence…

This aint about Bob…or Harry…or Tina or Sue….

This is about you…

And what will you do…

To be…me…

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~ by HopeGlenn on July 2, 2015.

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