Crossroads….

I can finally say there are words I do not like….okay I hate them…

Crossroads is one of them…because you cannot explain it…except to yourself…

So here I sit…I am supposed to be at work right now….yet I have a cold…with runny nose…my ears ringing…and breathing made near impossible….

So I think calling out today was best…for all concerned….

And I sort of expected something to happen…

Everyone at work is sick…people dropping like flies with some stomach bug…that will not find me…

It is not the service I need…but the cold I did need…

Because I needed to learn something….

There is something behind the man…. behind the curtain that I am temporarily blinded from seeing….

And it is through being forced to be still and connect with this physical body(a difficult task for those traumatized)…that I see…

The Tin Man….yearning for a heart..thinking his had gone rusty..and was not working anymore…

And I found mine again…because I had been told it had gone cold…

Through a co-worker I have known 10 minutes…and he said…”you have a lot of integrity”…

How does a stranger see that…?

When the student is ready…the teacher appears…

Teacher one right there…

The Cowardly Lion….had no courage….

I thought I had none…thought strength was something used to push through all the blows…

But just like the Cowardly Lion…as he protected himself….he realized he had courage…

Courage to see..he was not what he was told…and how another..(seeking to keep you in a box said)…was the farthest from the truth…

He saw he had the courage..to not believe he was damaged goods…

Aha…I do not need fixing…

Teacher Two…

The Scarecrow…

Constantly putting the stuffing back in…wishing he had a brain…thinking he could not learn…and what  lowly life he was to have….

Hmmm….it is like me constantly trying to prove I am a good person…to some…spent a lifetime…

Constantly trying to get validation from…crackpots….

Thinking I am the crackpot…and realizing here…and to be truthful..I have had many moments of insight…

That the people trying to shove my head under water…are well…crackpots…and making someone else feel like crap..while trying to do the parade of LIES…to direct the attention away from them…called deflection…

And these types…like to have you around…because good hearts serve them well…

They push you away..yet always keep you tethered with the littlest strand…

And they benefit from you highly….and you look crazy…and to those who operate like them…they look like sunshine…

So how do I know this….?

Because I am in one…sort of have 3/4 of me out…but I still get it…

Scarecrow realized he was about as smart as he told himself he was…and nothing…nothing was out of reach…

And Dorothy…rejection…loss…misunderstanding…no idea of value…

Decided to wish herself away…and the poor me…went away…

She realized she was beautiful…not rejected..nor abandoned…

And life is not about who’s face can I step on…lie to…cheat and steal from…

Life takes work…but it is the best work…and holds all sorts of guarantees…

And those four had to find it…

All have hearts…and life for them is vulnerability…the safest, warmest place to be…

All have brains…it either withers away from the crap we pump into it…and that which we value…or it grows…and the next thing you know you are looking at a score of 100% on an muscle skeletal of the first 200 muscles…

All have courage…and sometimes it is in the form of quietness…stillness…speaking into ourselves…the courage it takes to simply open our eyes…and change everything by saying hello…

All are loved…held close…no one is abandoned and rejected….that is just the nonsense I fill my being with…by hanging out with the wrong crowd…because I think there is something wrong with me….

But when you stand in the right crowd…the love of you…your original being…the real you is seen…..

Like from my co-worker…

And definitely not the nonsense you hear from pinheads…

So as I stand at this crossroad…been at it many a year…

This time…..

I see clearly…with my stuffed nose….

I have a tremendous heart….and a stranger saw that…

I am WOW intelligent….because I became what I put in…

I have courage…more than I thought….because I walked away from everything to gain me…and I gained everything….and I speak into hate and violence…

And I am wanted…pursued…and even adored…

And that will appear more and more…the more I tell..others to well take a hike…and make space for the others….

So I am glad I have this cold…my nose is running…ears are stuffed…

It made me pause…and see the real things…

Like heart…brains…courage…beauty…

And now it is time to skip down the yellow brick road…

Because it took me back home…

Right to this heart…..

Advertisements

~ by HopeGlenn on April 6, 2015.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: