All in time…

The use of time…

We all spend time in ways we either approve of or disapprove of….

Filled with joy of those time or filled with shame of those time…

belief it was time well spent from the outcome…

Or time not well spent…due to the outcome…

Constant ebb and flow…

Drag our feet in time…procrastinate..hesitate…

Or plunge through the crowd…plundering forth with no knowledge of the outcome…just that it must happen…

We do things time and time again…expecting different outcomes…

And we do not do things…afraid of the outcome being different….and that scares us more than repeating the same inane act…over and over again…time and time again….

Not a whole lot of love going on…in that sphere….

But watching a series of videos…actual VHS…yep…makes me miss vinyl….truly…

About Mythology….basically the foundation of our worlds..repetitive stories which travel from this time to another time..to another time…

It is like studying world religions and finding we are all doing the same dance….

And I got to the juicy part…the part of life we all crave…fear…cling to and run from…and hope time will heal….

LOVE…

Yet within this discovery…I found my role…my place…as a woman….first…and then as a mother….

Because I have been battling both of those…thinking I have not been successful at either course…

HMMMMM….

As the quote says…”As the student is ready, the teacher appears”…

WHAMMO….right between the eyes…

And today I love it…yesterday…it was pissing me off…until the late evening…when the chimes went off in my head….and I paid attention to time…and all in due time…time well spent..doing what I was supposed to be doing…and spending this time doing what I need to be doing…and not false grieving over not meeting a social construct…basically…lies….

Joseph Campbell…gone now….died the month and the year of my oldest son’s birth….another interesting point….

He was my teacher in two points…well maybe three…but those are what I get for now…

He stated…women have no idea of what they are….and he is right…

We are life…pure life…we bring it forth..we sustain it…we sacrifice for it..we are CREATORS….

We hold all the energy…the beauty…(the I do not have words to describe it) within us…

We are beautiful…might make one to stop starving themselves to be thin…take off some of the makeup mask…might make us dress in the beauty of the female form..rather than trying to show everything…might see the passion…the desire to touch…connect…cook…make…as beauty….

Might just see the vastness…the intelligence…

Might see WOMAN….

And then Joseph Campbell told me something else…

What it meant to be a mother…and why it feels the way it does…and why when we fight that feeling we bring about pure hatred into our world…which of course means all the world…

Our mission…if I can use this word..is to when they are born..is to protect…first thing…second..if we get the privilege…as they grow is to teach them…and then at a certain point…release them…and let them figure it out…

See I always doubted I had done a good job with my four majestic sons….

Because well…I did not have the funds to get all the selfish things we tell them they need and are the most important…

But I gave them love…and truth..up until the last minute…even when the ugly words were spoken…

And it did not turn out the way…the storybook of society said it should…

We all went a bit bonkers…

Yet I did right…and perfect…even in my stumble…

I directed them on the path to be men…

I told them what a man is…and who better than one who gives life…women are best for this…just as men are good in the reverse…as long as both love…and do not perverse the definition of each of these things…

Must be that criteria..like it or not…

And then I stepped back…

And let them stumble….

And did not clean up the messes….

And Joseph Campbell showed me…I am a world wide success….OUTSTANDING…..

Because I did it…I stuck the course…I did not falter…

And the proof is in the pudding…

Each son…(just think for a moment of four sons)…

Fought the good fight…found their passion…found their course…and are flying…

Being a woman and being a mother are immense gifts…

The heart and soul life is…a loss for words…only tears come close…

You have the ability to give life…or to take it away…

You can cause deep anguish by hating self…hating the beauty of a woman..which spreads like wildfire into this world and makes hate upon women so immense..are shoulders are barely able to bear it another second…

OR…you can love this woman…love all women…work on what we focus on…and what we toss aside…it will knock you off your feet when you pay attention…

Be Authentic….

And as a mother…we can give our children truth…

Stop telling our children it is okay to be greedy…

Stop telling our children that vanity is the way to go….

Stop telling our children that lies, stealing and cheating are appropriate life actions…

Have the damn courage to shut off the television….stop plaguing them with your illness…

Let them deal with their choices….

Stop cleaning up their damn messes….

You do it once…they will use you over and over…and toss you aside like a dirty dish towel…cleaning up the spilled over toilet…

Have the courage to LOVE your kids….

I love my sons…

But it was not always that way…

I tried bribery…self hate…conditions…and the worst of all…LIES…and the biggest LIE..was…do whatever you want to whomever you want…and I will be here to clean up the mess…pay you off…and keep you locked in my sickness…plastered to my side…with Gorilla glue…and never let you breathe…EVER….

And they will fail you every time…because no one can live a lie forever without exploding onto the world with hate..after they have imploded…

They may not have done the things…be the person I think they should be…NOPE…

They done way better…

They surpassed any dream I had for them….

So as time moves on…and I reflect only momentarily…

I love my children…

Which means….

I protect when small…

Teach as they grow…

Mentor…

And then honey…get them out of the nest…

And they will decide…only them…

After hitting the chin and stubbing the tow…

What they want to believe…

Lets just hope…and I got a lot of hope…

We loved them with the right things…

And I got a lot of hope…

 

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~ by HopeGlenn on March 5, 2015.

3 Responses to “All in time…”

  1. I sensed so much passion in the piece. I loved it and so much of it resonated with me with my boy. I often say they are our Joy our pain our weakness and our strength, but ultimately they are our greatest love. So many warranted statements and layout made it inviting to read, like small mouthfuls of goodness. Thank You 🙂

    Like

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