Different than what I thought….

Aristotle once said, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

That quote hit me like a two by four today….

It is like…taking on a belief just because someone says it…

Or perceiving a situation needs YOUR attention because another will not attend to it….

And as they say….that is where the rubber meets the road….

I spend a lot of time in meditation….

Attempting to create something I do not have…eeeps…yet I actually have it…

It the attention caught up in another persons estimation of me…and that becomes my focus…

EEEPS again….

Example being this….

COMPASSION….I chant it like a railroad car chugging away…and maybe if I do it enough and release that energy out into the world through my positive vibration…I will become it….

But perhaps what I am actually hoping to accomplish is to erase the compassion in me…I know to be running over in me….and try and create it in another…EEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hoping if they register it..say something good about it…rather than beat me into the ground with insults such as…

“Nobody is that kind”

“Your that way to get something…you have ulterior motives and they are not good”

Add in your own….please….

That I am that…only if someone has the hoopla to say it out loud….

Is that not how we spend most of our time….?

Not registering acknowledging the love…beauty…hope…affection…kindness…heart…contained within us….?

And spend most of our time…waiting for another to say we are those things…?

I am guilty…I raise my hand….

How much energy do I spend waiting for someone else with acknowledge it…?

Umm way too much…

And why is it I have to erase myself..make myself out to be a loathsome individual because another believes they are loathsome and all are loathsome….or at the bare minimum…takes it out on the safest person around….

YOU…..

And so we spend hours in meditation and chants…asking for these blessed things and wondering why they are not falling out of the sky….?

People…we already have them….

If we did not…well…

Would we be n tears or full on anger because someone said something horrible to us…or lied to us….

Do we not weep when we see one hurt…head downcast…

Do we not keep ourselves safe….and trust me..I get it…

So the one gunning for you…can only have that bullet fragment the glass and not shatter it….

Compassion…Love…Empathy…Hope…Trust…is not my problem…of not having….

I got those….

Maybe what terrifies me the most…

Is those who don’t….

And me standing in my own way of receiving the mighty abundance….just waiting on the doorstep…ringing the doorbell….thinking….maybe today she will check the mail….maybe today….

Because as long as I sit in meditation going through some chants…

And pleading with the Universe to oblige me…

It has no choice but to oblige me….

Yet eventually I will become so sodden in not seeing…feeling…the ME….

That compassion will become indifference…..like a great weight about my neck…

And the greatest crime…will be…

Indifference to self….

And that makes me weep…

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~ by HopeGlenn on February 17, 2015.

One Response to “Different than what I thought….”

  1. I’m for compassion…What a wonderful world it will be! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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