Giving it away….

Giving it away…
To the wrong people…
At the wrong times….
At the wrong places…
Just plain wrong…
Giving it away…like cheese dip….with double…triple..quadruple…dippers…
What is this thing we keep giving away….
Vulnerability….
As soon as I typed that word…I heard the collective wince…
We entertain the thought of being vulnerable…as a weakness…
Like the soft underbelly that gets sliced and diced….
But in truth vulnerability is strength….
It lies not in shame….that is when we get sliced and diced and served up on a platter with an apple shoved in our mouth…
Vulnerability is defined thus….
being in a position to be examined…possibly attacked…(most likely verbally)…be wounded….
yet how accurate is that….?
And is that a negative or positive position….?
And the key point…is it from a place of shame….?
because there is a difference…HUGE chasm of difference….
because shame says….”I am a mistake”….ICK ICK ICK….
And guilt which formulates a conviction says….I made a mistake….
Catch the difference…?
Vulnerability standing in shame…covered in shame like the sauce covering noodles….is believing that you are a mistake…better off dead…not deserving of consideration….and the place we spend most of the time…giving our vulnerability away….
Example….making someone pay for something forever…being in revenge mode…
Like this…
I have a friend who has a biological daughter and an adopted son….
Neither parent wanted a girl….because one had been manipulated thoroughly by the female gender and one had learned the fine art of manipulating using the female specialties…and felt demeaned when trying to manipulate females…it worked so much better on men….
Thus the thought of having a girl made them quake because one would always have to protect oneself and one would always be in competition..
So the boy is bought…from another country….because they want a boy…so they get their boy….
So from day one of the biological girl’s birth she is abandoned….(because no matter how hard we try and conceal that nugget…it comes out)
So she learns the fine art of manipulation….through vulnerability…accessed incorrectly…
Manipulation of another’s weak point…or your viewed weak point is like this….
Having parents lose their children to a car accident….and telling them how fortunate they are to be young enough…they can have more babies…to replace the ones gone…and now you can really appreciate the ones you might have….
And each parent uses a different mechanism to cope with being manipulated by women and not being good enough to qualify for the manipulation Olympics…
So one drinks….the other takes command and becomes leader of the pack and becomes a bad ass in their field…
So they now both live in shame…
Oh biological daughter says…oh I can use this material….shame…
I can get what I want by not being wanted…and by ones drinking…and by ones well abandoning me…
Each abandons…just some forms are more blatant….
So adopted boy has the finest of finest…cause we buy our children…friends…co-workers…family….
And of course he can do no wrong….
And the unwanted girl…because she believes it is a defect in her…that makes her not wanted….
Does antics…to make her wanted…whether you want to or not…
And then each parent succumbs and lives in shame…each playing the vulnerability…giving it away game….
How so…?
Because when vulnerability is stained with shame…you can never forgive yourself or the other person(s)….
You play tennis with them…so you sport…live your weakness….your ability to cave in when someone says BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So you agree with them…believe them…like a dirty pair of socks that get smellier by the second…
That is Vulnerability in shame….and shame like that suffocates….
Yet if you would forgive yourself…and say I made a mistake…maybe a number of mistakes…it moves away…it is not our identity…it is not who we are…it is something we have done…
Because being vulnerable is a good good thing..it is warming….
Because vulnerability says I made a mistake…and I stop playing that tune…shows character…empathy…compassion…amazing courage to believe you are not a mistake…
So that vulnerability….that warmth..that compassion…that ability to truly hear what one says to you…and not twist it to fit…something gross….that vulnerability that allows you to say…I need…I want…I love…and receive it….and lets another give you their vulnerability…
Well in the words of my favorite chef….THAT’S MONEY….
So you either be angry…and resentful and make others pay for their mistakes…and make them believe vulnerability is weak…..
OR….
You take the step forward…and say….I made a mistake….I led you to believe something that is not true….I am sorry….
It is not who I am…it is something I did….
Tell me…how many of you would loose the chains that bind you….and applaud another when they had the courage to say I made a mistake…
And stop applauding those who play in shame….even wrapped in a pretty face…or packaged as a good boy making great grades…
Time to stop giving it away….
Because vulnerability is not the toying with the heart…
It is the heart…
The activator…momentum of all things….

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~ by HopeGlenn on January 12, 2015.

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