Not loving….

As the sun was setting….I saw a miracle….
And to be honest…most everything I see is a miracle…
The miracle being the loving endurance which pervades my life….
The choice to be awake…and separate from this world….
There is very little in this world which is truth….
Okay…most all of it is a great big fat lie…decorated with illusions….the way most people like it…
And maybe that is the reason I have struggled so much in my life….
I cannot much go along with it….the non loving…lets hate direction most operate on….
Yet yesterday a miracle happened….not something you see in the midst of a city..with cars and people buzzing about…not the place for these creatures….
But for some reason..some presence needed my attention and it got it….
It knew I needed reassurance…a moment to partake in beauty…instead of the warding off of well lies and malice….
I encounter that a lot…but it does not seem to penetrate me…
It is like a big bubble is around me…and it bounces off….
Maybe because I said out loud…in a very loud voice and clear….NO MORE….
And when one proclaims that…the Universe can only oblige….
So it comes at me…but it has no impact…only in one manner….it makes me see…and saddens me a bit….
The sadness was lifted last night….
Seven…yes I did say seven deer….appeared right in front of me…in the center of this city…and locked eyes with this creature…named Me…
Five of them were stags….male deer…in full regalia of their antlers….
3 points….4 points…7 points….all sorts of points…(and hunters or wildlife enthusiasts know what the points are and what they mean)….
I watched in awe…
And remembered what it was like to be a child again..in awe…
Even this child coming from the place I did…felt awe and wonder every day of her life…and it was refreshed….
Like sitting down with a child…and listening to them describe things…before they forget how majestic this life is…before they forget God….and love….
Do not ignore this my heart chanted….stay and watch….
Five stags…two fawns…
Right smack dab in the middle of the city….
And it came in perfect time….
The day had been one of sorting….pulling myself from the lie to the truth…
Prayer…meditation…stillness…rest…
All to pay attention…
All to heal….
All to get off the roller coaster…and out of the fun house…
Because I had latched onto…not loving….
And when I do not love self…I practice the art of not loving others….
And that could not continue….
So I mustered my way through…and woke up…
And the love I had placed somewhere…was sitting with me…under a quilt of pink and yellow…
You ask…what is the miracle….?
I do not know….
Maybe you can tell me…how seven deer….bigger than 6 feet…made their way to my presence….
Just to let me be filled with glee…and exhale rest…
The miracle is this….
And this and this….and this too….

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~ by HopeGlenn on January 5, 2015.

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