Rest now….It is time…

My heart…my being is all twisted up with so many emotions….

And for the first time..ever…I am not struggling with what I know to be wrong…

And I only use the word wrong because our American language..has no words to cover the anguish in the heart…in this superficial….Big Mac me world…

I read a quote last night….regarding…resting…and it goes like this….

” Rest here for a minute…It is okay…”

It hit me hard….mainly for 4 reasons…

And they are my sons….

And the recent death..of a young man…who could find no rest…

And found a way..to make the rest happen….

And I sit here and I stare at the screen and I see the deep…fatigue running through those eyes…

And I can relate…by seeing it in my sons eyes…my own eyes…and this young man…and the antics of others….who insist..all is well….

I have discovered along this journey…of EMDR…and healing…

That we spend enormous amounts of time…being angry…at another(s) for our choices…

A choice we knew to make differently…

But lets be honest…we like having things to gripe about….

We like to watch people slip…knock out their teeth and then tsk..tsk…them…

And say…see I told you so…

We hate success..or happiness…and I do mean hate…

And when we find another who has taken a step out of the pit and they realize how lovely they really are….

We smother them with hate…truckloads….

Because they..being happy…or recognizing what life is about…makes us mighty uncomfortable…

And we have to stop that…make that mirror be pointed in a different direction…Hell not in mine…right….????

We have to realize that we have bought our children..some of us…

We have to realize…that we hate our parents…for doing the same thing we do…a million times a day…

We persecute and I do mean persecute…(if there was a noose available…we would hang them…) for finding light…healing…their purpose…

Rather than drinking oneself into a stupor and condoning so many antics from those we say we love…because well…we want them to like us….

And all we are doing is burying them…and they end up doing things that take our breath away…

And not in a good way…

And when I saw the news report of this young man…who felt the only answer was out…I wept…and my hand moved to the screen…because I have four sons…and I wanted to touch that face and make all those lies go away…

And I wanted to applaud his parents….because they allowed him to follow his dream…they gave him love…and honesty…

It is this world..us…who should stand before him for failing him…

Because we told him…lies…in this superficial..Big Mac world….

Of I phones….and gadgets..and the realization we have no idea how to live anymore…we cannot connect…nor communicate….

All we know is avoid the call…text a snipe…I will get to you later….

Promoting the vanity…so beauty is now seen in porn….

Promoting the hate….just listen to our music…

Promoting the separation..by no accountability….

And the silencing of the heart….

Something I can speak on..with a mighty force….

As a child I had too many things trying to silence this heart….

And as an adult…in recognition…I have to seek every path possible…to heal…

And know..I was handed a poo poo platter of lies….

And here at 52 I just get it…

And that young man..is a babe…just like our children are….babies in the wilderness we created…

And scary..they are having babies…because they think they are cute..like puppies…and then getting angry..because baby does not act right….

And we must take accountability for the way this world has been made into…

For the ungodly….unholy crap pile we have created…

And we tell our children..is truth….

So I am sticking with EMDR..as it leads me down the rabbit hole..as a dear friend spoke about…

Because it unravels…and another life moment awakens..and so many aha’s….

And I realize..I aint crazy…and I have been on a good path…for a long time…

Yet I will admit..I have been slipping on a few jagged rocks..here and there and getting sucked into the whirlpool…of lies…and believing…

And I believe something more than anything else….

And I wish the young man could have heard it….

You are lovely..so lovely….

Rest now….

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~ by HopeGlenn on December 1, 2014.

6 Responses to “Rest now….It is time…”

  1. hi…. i always think that there are three ways our day can go, crappy, ok and fantastic. If we can have 5 days of the week ok and fantastic and 2 days crappy we are doing good!
    To keep our head above water we have to fight our thoughts of negativity with positivity and action!…… until we have created a new groove in the mind.
    Repeating positive words, finding our interests and pursuing them makes a huge difference in my life.
    Whenever I am negative these days i just think to myself…. i don’t want to be like this, i can’t be happy like this! need to start new things, new me and fight to stay positive and keep busy and this creates a new momentum which is like a snowball rolling down a hill, soon you find a totally new person. We have the memories of things that have happened and we see to be a new human we must jettison the past, which means forgiving those responsible and ourselves…….
    then doing our best to not return to that old tape that plays in the mind….. for we are not that tape, those experiences were life lessons to overcome.
    Yes that poor guy…. thats why it’s so important that everyone that we affect in our day to day life we do so in an uplifting compassionate positive way.
    ….. but to do that we need heart to be healed and that comes from forgiveness of you and the other. Take it easy on yourself, everything is exactly how it is meant to be at this moment, we learn at exactly the right moment….
    sometimes i just need to go to church and kneel and that brings my heart in line and then use positive affirmations to keep my thoughts bright ohhhh and start that new thing!
    take care have a good day!

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    • I love your thoughts….and thank you for thinking of me….
      yet in my thought in my heart..this being..I voice this….I will only take 7 days a week of pure bliss…with joy leaking out of me…getting onto another….
      I have settled for an occasional rara..hip hip hooray…and maybe okay days…
      I was not designed for anything less than splendor…
      So as I process these memories..as this adult woman..still loving the child who was silenced….I speak only truth to myself…I speak only love….because that is the only truth…the rest..my friend is lies….every last word…

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      • sorry if I over did it a bit…. when I read your post above I thought you might be really depressed…. so I was doing my I will try and cheer you up thing 🙂 but I probably got it a bit wrong as you seem to be just fine. It makes sense what your doing…. 7 days of splendor sounds brilliant i will try and aim for that!
        ciao

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  2. the last thing I will say 🙂 is that, for me, letting go of my past can be as easy (or as difficult) as starting something that I enjoy like a new interest.
    Today I went swimming in the sea, everyone thinks I’m mad because its quite cold here….. but I love it, i love swimming underwater, breath holding and diving in and so on…. and when I am doing this I am happy, I am engaged, interested and happy, theirs no space for the old stuff and I want more of it… not just swimming 🙂 so i jettison the old me…. which is all my old friends and ways and find new interests and in that very action (which is not easy) a new me is created which brings in a totally different and better environment.
    thats all i want to say…. ciao

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  3. Your words my friend are very much wanted and so appreciated….
    I struggle as many do…for too long I believed such garbage and was depressed…
    I, just myself…can no longer settle for okay…
    One day maybe..I will jump into the cold water like you do…and I hope all who see…think I am crazy….
    Enjoy, it is wonderful to meet such an amazing person….

    Like

  4. hey thanks…. good speaking to you aswell… take care 🙂

    Like

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