Evaluation…Review…

You would not believe what is sitting out my window right now….

Those champagne colored deer….

5 to be exact….

4 and then the mommy….

It reminds me of a scenario..a place in my life….

Mommy of four sons…

And a few requests I made of God..this universe…

A reality moment…rather than illusion…

And I can sure use a reality moment…

One of the requests was to know..to be in my heart..that my sons were in peace…

They had found the reality of who and what they are…

And no longer danced in the fun house of mirrors…I have for near 50 years…

And now over this last week…and finally today….

They are nibbling on sweet Autumn grass…acorn eating fools…resting in the un-mowed grass…

Staying close…within sight of their mommy….

I am at peace…

It speaks to me…decisions made long ago…were the absolute best..right…and loving…

Another request was to be shown where I was to be employed…

And was the place I am at..the place to be…

And was I to ignore…and grin and bear it…because that is what we do…

For the good of the whole…

Whatever that means….

And Friday, last Friday…I had my review…my evaluation….

And the whole thing was a lie….

It is a weird experience to have your “boss” sitting in front of you..with lies pouring from their mouth….

And you watch it in slow motion….like some sci-fi movie….

Where you are to catch..the temperature in the room….

The feel of the furniture against your back….

The lack of eye contact…

The asking for examples…and nothing being shown….

And you realize….

You aint supposed to be here….

After this moment….your time is done…

It was not a waste…it was not a loss….

It showed me things…which I am still figuring out..

It mainly showed me…that I am skilled…I am an excellent teacher…

And it is stunning the amount of knowledge this brain and heart carry….

And yes…I will be just a little high on myself….

Now mommy and two of the deer children have sprinted into the woods…

While two lay in the grass…alert..but resting…

kind of like me….

My body feels like steady jello….

Relaxed in a crazy sort of way…

No headache…

No back and neck spine ready to push me into the humiliation of the ER drug world…

Nope…just watching a slight sprinkling of rain…

Healing….regaining self…

And that champagne dress…with pearls…

Resembles….the champagne deer…with white delicate spots….

Reclining…in the Autumn grass….

Got to make you wonder…..

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~ by HopeGlenn on September 29, 2014.

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