Step Back…

Working…since it has not been done in what I call the real world for awhile…has been a bit of a draining venture….

Sort of like my choice to love…

And I have had to step out of things for a bit…just to see what I think…a pause…

It has knocked the breathe out of me…

And I feel like I have been kicked in the gut…

And no cute cliche..or cryptic quote can allow me to even smile…

Work..in the real world…requires great heart..and choice..and in truth..

You may be the only one doing the work…surrounded by those who spend life complaining because they have to work…

And for me it has been like my decision to love…in a world that does not want love…

Even though it is the only thing able to do anything in this world…the hope of love…

My love is seen in an action..I am barely aware of…

Until it is pointed out…

And then suddenly I am a specimen under a microscope…

“Did you see that….?…what is she..?…how come she is so nice..?…what..what..she is asking me if I would like anything to drink….?…(sputter sputter….)…oh she must be up to something….)..nobody loves anymore…

Right…Right…?…uummmmm…right…????

Ummmm…no..your wrong….

Even when love is not given..one still loves….

Even when one is beaten…one still loves…

Even when one is hurt as a child..one can still soothe a soul…a crying baby…watch another melt like butter..within touch..

Even when one is rejected…one still loves…

The capability within us..is massive…

And the only boundary lines are self inflicted…

Musings in wounds..that become sores..fed by our own desire to shut off the oxygen…

And the need..the deep need for love…is so profound…we will do anything..anything…to keep even a whispering of it about…

Like the perfume of a lover..that lingers on the chair once sat upon…

Or a note for groceries..from a companion…as if they never left…

It is not a choice to love….or to not…

It is a choice to be…to exist..to breath…

And to allow something past definitions…and..

Our own basic…false belief..that this THING..is what I want…

And somehow..in some way..to say…

I need you..you need me..they need us…we need them…

And without it..breathing becomes the hardest thing…we have ever done….

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~ by HopeGlenn on April 3, 2014.

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