Unpretty….

There is a song by TLC….and I am not even sure if the group is still together….

They are a soulful trio…that addresses issues I address…and from my part of this space I call my world…

The song is “Unpretty”….and from day one when I heard this song..I was hooked….

And today and yesterday it hit me..how I would allow…another to make me feel unpretty….

And note the word…allow….

Recently I heard the words…”you are in good shape for your age” “you look good for your age”….sound familiar….?

Sounds to me like a backhanded compliment…and one that makes me critique myself in a way..God never intended….and it brings my shoulders up about my ears….

Yep I can feel them there now….and I allowed it….

I allowed another to assess me..by what they..or a group in society thinks is beauty…

And to be frankly honest..I look like the freak in a circus…why..?

Because I have had nothing done to myself…

No makeup..no alterations to the original design..no beauty creams to give an illusion I have decreased by ten years…just moisturizer…to keep the skin supple…as one ages…

No tucks or cuts to pretend this body did not have children…

I am not competing with girls in their 20’s…so why am I acting like it…and why am I competing…?

Aha…that is the question..presenting itself in my face…when I looked in the mirror..or shyly looked in the mirror…

Why was I stepping into a ring..with a fool..comparing me on an age bracket…who was viewing the appropriately world view of beauty…and surmising how to make me feel worthy of them….

Because well..I guess I looked good for my age…but there was always another on the horizon..who capped off better in the scale of something…

And why was I not telling the fool to take a hike….?

So I listened to the song…”Unpretty”….

And it hit me…

What I had allowed..and what I had to clean up…

So I stepped back..and so..it would not be misunderstood…

I am beautiful…I have a gorgeous body..and not despite the fact I have had babies..or darn I look good for my age…

But simply because I was indeed beautiful..defined in the best way..I know how…God…and I had somehow lost track..and started to see myself..in need of alterations…

And being a seamstress…I can alter a garment..quickly and efficiently…

But not this one…

I will refuse to believe that my larger than when I was 20 waistline needs anything….or that the stretch marks from human life being birthed inside of me..needs to be erased….

I refuse to believe that the laugh lines..and the serious crinkle on my forehead..from stress..thinking..life..needs to be smoothed..so one could bounce a quarter off of it…

I refuse to believe that the grey overtaking my hair..needs to be taught who is boss..and retreat into another color..more pleasing..or younger…

I refuse to believe..the skin of alabaster of my Irish heritage needs to be removed of its freckles..or tanned…so I can wear short skirts…and show off my butt with a g-string….

I refuse to believe…that beauty is defined…in tan bodies..busty…perfect noses…and pert bodies…

I look in the mirror..and without hesitation or in comparison to another..whatever age…

I look…

And I see blue eyes..that two of my sons carry…and they twinkle…

And I see freckles over my cheeks..and designing on the laugh lines..and eye crinkles life gives us….and I blush..

And I see my hair..speckled with grey..mainly silver..long..and thrown back in a ponytail…with no desire..to design it…

And I got to say…

God did a really good job….

Because… pretty…unpretty…has nothing to do…with the package you see….the illusion we all bring to the table…

It is something I saw..when I looked in the mirror…and it is right behind those eyes…

The ones they say…hmmmm…look good for my age…

 

 

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~ by HopeGlenn on March 24, 2014.

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