Found out something…

You cannot be here and be their either..

Especially if you are playing in Limbo land…

Surfing the caps of this space..then another space…

Hoping one feels okay to stay awhile…

Maybe my thoughts are running in this direction..because I feel and remember being homeless…and it was not that long ago…

And I keep trying to find the method of landing..

Yet I still feel like I am floating…

Maybe because I feel like this venture I set out upon in November..is keeping on keeping on..with no real end in site…

No run up and ring the bell..do the happy dance..and get the medal..for a race well done..

Nope…

And maybe it is not that..getting under my skin…

Maybe it is seeing others in limbo…

And me trying so hard..to make them believe..it will be better…

Maybe..

Or maybe it is me..watching these people I have fallen in love with…in this clinical place…

And I want to be there all night….and just sit there..holding their hands…watching…just so when they awaken..in spots during the night..they see me…and feel like the moment is just a little bit better…

And maybe I am giving myself too much value…

And maybe I am the wrong sort to be in this line of work…

And maybe I am the wrong sort to have a family..be in relationships…

Because I am too weepy…and my heart wants to change things…and not keep them status quo..

Maybe I am better suited…

As an accountant…do your taxes..tell you the best investments…

And maybe it is okay..

That I wanted to wish my youngest Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!….face to face…

And my back and shoulders hurt..like I am carrying these patients pain…

Maybe it is okay….

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~ by HopeGlenn on March 5, 2014.

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