Death….

Where do we go..when we leave here..?

Pearly spaces…

Open arms..

Family…

Green pastures…

Where..?

And for me..it really does not matter…

Because I can barely describe this space…

I do not think they have invented words to describe the next..space…

This hits me today..because of time spent in clinical…on Thursday…

And death arrived…

And I was sad..

But not for them…

Because anyplace…than this space..was better than what that body and mind had to endure..until the moment it lifted…

And I remember…sitting there..doing my “job”…

And this twisted..contracted..body with sad eyes..crawled onto my lap…

And demanded one more moment..of proof..that love existed…

And I got to be there…

I rocked..and wept..and told her…it is okay..loss for words…

I let the heart do the talking…

And I looked into her eyes…and gave respect…a hard..challenging word..for many of us pea brains..wandering this planet…

And later..while they were laughing..in team meeting..about their silliness…

I roared…and demanded…mouths shut..

If we cannot pause…and recognize life..and death…and not throw in great cliches…like..”someone dies..and someone is born”…

We are in trouble…

I am sad for me..and all the others that stay behind…not sad for her..

Because she is singing….and probably doing cartwheels..that her contracted body could not do..she is where her heart believes…

And in the brief moment..I had with her…I learned more about myself..than I knew was in there…

I learned…that I am just as soft..and mushy as the day I came into this world…

And the value I give life..is immense…

I learned that I have to..I must follow this heart…and go there..despite that I am told..I am too old…

Just like when my brother died..me 18 and him 23…

And they said..get a grip..move on…

Looky someone was born….sheesh…

Guess what…someone just died…

And guess what…I miss her…and a huge light left this world…

And we have to stay and play in the darkness…

Death…it really is not that simple…

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~ by HopeGlenn on March 1, 2014.

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