Shadow Side…..

Back talk and gibberish…..

The great..I am not dealing with that…point…

And I am exhausted….

There seems to be..and it is not a new trend…yet there seems to be a trend..again of separating ourselves into dark and light..and then using big words…like shadow..that we really do not know the meaning of..to throw people off..that well…

We have chosen to be jerks…

And take no accountability…and really have no clue how..

Because we spend most of our time..in separation mode….

From ourselves and humanity…

Why can we not say..shadows..light..dark..are all part of my makeup..and how I choose to let one dominate…and one go underground is my choice…a decision I am fully aware of…

Simply like what I chose to eat..a few minutes ago…

A friend asked me to read a book about..well smiling at the shadow side…

And I thought…why..?

Do I need to read a book that just dances around the issue…

And the parts I read..did just that..dance….to distract..that it was back talk and gibberish….

Just like the hours we sit in front of a computer..watching porn..playing video games…googling this or that..instead of doing something….

Even as exciting as cleaning your toilet….

The shadow side..oh you mean part of me…one of the aspects of me..one of my many places I travel to…that one…

It can be the part…that allows me to believe…that if another does this..then I must be that..and now I am holding your accountability…

It can be the part…that allows me..or makes me..because one used back talk and gibberish..which I fed into…to not speak truth..and take accountability for what another should be doing..an agreed upon position…

Here is an example…

I am in clinical…

It is the wide open world and the most secret world…

It displays humanity…and what it has decided to be..a choice of what we have made ourselves…

Clinical has only made me decide..lean into..doing this work..not because of physical abilities..despite the fact I am intelligent and I have the ability to grasp medical and physiological functions easily…

But because my heart is in full activation..and I feel like I am swimming in a sea filled with piranhas….

Last night..as I was caring for my final patient…client..resident..I encountered another’s responsibility…

And I made a choice..to either leave this woman..who was contracted and bed bound..and a prisoner of her body..lying in her poop..which she had been long before I got there…and could have blasted the employee who should have cared for her…

OR…

My heart ruled the show…

It cleaned this woman up…it was gentle..it looked her in the eye the entire time..it had me kneeling so I was not looming..it had tears running down my cheeks…it had me there..way past my time…to make sure she felt like..and smelled like a rose…and she was able to rest..in safety in the body..she could no longer control…

And the heart ruled..because it walked over to this attendant..who should have done this days ago…and I am not joking about how seriously this woman was neglected…

And said…time will advance you to this…if you are so fortunate..to live the lives these people have…

And one day…you hope…and pray mightily…

That the shadow side..will step back..the one that says..I do not make enough to clean that up(even though you are the reason it is that way)…

I deserve so much better of a job…

These people are just so stupid and have no value…

And what will happen to your being..

When you are made to lay in your own poop for hours…

And no one cares…

And you just sit and rot…(because that what waste does to the human body)..

What then…

Oh I am sorry..

The shadow side won..right..

Because damn if that text is more important…and the video game is kicking your ass..and you do not have time to study..to do better care…

And oh I forgot…

You got porn to watch…

Because you…and your getting off..is so much more important…

Than the heart…telling the shadow side…go take a hike…

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~ by HopeGlenn on February 26, 2014.

2 Responses to “Shadow Side…..”

  1. Good thing you were there to provide much needed love and care for this woman. The world these days.

    Like

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