It has started with a bang…

I told you..it was going to be a week…

And it has started out with a bang….

It is Monday..in all of Monday’s brilliance…

A night of no sleep..because I after being insulted..did not have the courage to say…Whoa doggies….that is not okay…

And so when the sun came up in the am..and I was coiled in my spine of..ick..I spoke…and in my book..the best time to speak..when the wounds is fresh…because that is the reality of how we feel..and what has happened..in that moment of invasion…

So then I spoke with another person..who felt..as some people do..that telling me what to do and how to do it…was well in their jurisdiction…

And honestly in most happenings of this sort..we can let them glance off…

But when threats happen..it is time to turn around and stare down the battle for your soul happening..right in that moment..

And I walked inside..and said..what now God…?

Need me to prove to you..I am committed…and I have no idea what I am doing..all I am running on is this heart..

And I heard applause…

Because God told me..and then many times later in the day..

I was finally using the right piece of equipment..to do life…heart..

And it is the most dangerous scariest place..I never wanted to go to…honestly…

I never wanted to believe that I had the capacity..for such great ventures described by God…

I always limited myself..to the merry go round in the park…never the roller coaster…

And in class..instead of clinical..for some reason..we all needed..to have this moment…

We saw a movie made years ago..about a disease that makes one disappear…and I wept…

And I was confirmed…you are on the right path..

And I was confirmed..I can change the world..it may be from here..and nobody of stature will notice..but I will…

And I saw myself step out of my capacity of saying..lets see how this affects me..and I will do this..

And it transferred to..how does this affect you..him..her..

And my choices are not in an airtight box..with impact upon no one…

They change everything…everything..

So as I sat back…and breathed for the first time in a long time…

And acknowledged that I would love to have my spine ripped out..because seriously..the pain is crazy bad…

But I hung onto God…and wept…

And stepped out with my heart…

And I heard the words..what if you are fooled..what if it is a lie…?

And I thought..

Yep I might be made a fool of…I may get a broken heart…and it will sting mighty bad…

But the loss will not be mine…

How can I lose..how can I be made a fool of…how can this break my heart…

It is love people…a heart beating..

And for every tear that slips down my cheek…is a victory…

It means..I have not died inside..and let this world..in all its false glamor…take away my life…

And one more tear…slips down my cheek…

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~ by HopeGlenn on February 17, 2014.

One Response to “It has started with a bang…”

  1. *♡

    Like

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