Game show….

This is either a game show..or a really big test..I forgot to study for….

Anyone relate…?

You enter a situation..one you have not recently dabbled in…and now your in it….

Wading in about your waist…

You have been here before…heard the words before…and tried to decipher the words..feeling s and thoughts…cued to you..

And are you hearing them…or are you operating on a set of (for lack of a better word) programmed set of responses….?

Or is that first inclination…that first..I got to say that..out of A..B..C..D..it is B..the real ticket…?

And can you trust it…?

Or have we told ourselves..we are over reacting..to be more kind..give more grace..cause well..we mess up…we grow bored and move on…

Maybe…

Why is the first pang..rejected and tossed aside…to later find out..well you had it right..the first moment..your heart said…”excuse me”…

It is like taking that 100 question multiple choice test..on material you know…and having your hand hover over an answer..finally circling the wrong one..when you should have answered the one that first hit you…

And when the results are shown..you can kick yourself…because it took you from..maybe missing a few..silly..oops I read it wrong questions..to a list..that takes the grade from great to average…

It is like hearing someone tell you something….and then later after time spent together…when they speak similar words…you find yourself..wondering if you are hearing truth…

And you wait..never wanting to be the one..to say…I do not trust myself…to find out..you do not trust yourself…

And how we have disrupted..chewed up..our inner voice….

I do it during game shows….I watch and whisper the answer in my head…yet blurt out another…

And I look wrong..confused…

Because how can I be allowed to trust the voice…inside me…

That would mean…well honestly..I got my s… together…

And nobody wants to be seen as that..because you are viewed and isolated..as a know it all..

Someone who well knows themselves…

And should have from the very beginning….

The inner voice..the direction…is solid..

And..

Holds more direction..value…and thought…to any aspect this world teaches….

Seems to me..it is time…to keep this course…right in the direction..it is headed…

Right where I told it to go…

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~ by HopeGlenn on January 29, 2014.

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