Reluctance..or simply wisdom…

All sorts of excuses come flying out from behavior…sort of like the prepackaged…bite size tendrils we soothe the heart with…

I did it myself…because I did not want to see the reasoning behind another’s present actions…

I did not want to grasp…why..because I did not want to hear the answer…

I knew..I just knew..it had to fit into some category..some..something…and it did not..yet in one way it did…

Everyone…even down to the sharpest..most handsomest guy you saw walking by in a three piece suit..looking like he owned the world…

Everyone…even the heeled..bombshell…smelling like life is roses…

Everyone is terrified…to be hurt..be rejected..be reminded..they screwed up…it is the one thing we tell them..

Everyone wants to hear..they are special…to the one who is special to them…or that the image they see in the mirror…you know the one all twisted…and torn from our distorted perceptions of who we are…is not real…and it is not…

And no one wants to hear…I love you…that one stings a whole lot…

And as I write these words…my eyes well up with tears…and I want them to go away..

But it provides safe distance…and the last thing we can let seep into us..is how beautiful we are…

Ever noticed people cringe..when you tell them..?

Ever notice they look away…and try to hide their eyes…like maybe you will see..it is what they want..like air..but do not know how to breath..?

To be able to see into another..the vulnerable part..we have to be vulnerable…

We see the thing in us..that we want..that we may have let to become..defined in the worlds way..

And when it presents itself…we wince…and think..how could they want that..think that..do that…

When it is the same thing we do…to keep..all at a distance..safe..hopeless..and honestly rotting away…

And we have a choice..as the armor is lowered..for a mere second…

We can laugh…judge..assess..condemn..

Or we can look it square on…even with heads dropping..eyes fighting to be lowered..and yet beseeching to be looked at..

And bring it to us..wrap it around us..and remember..like a place from childhood…

The belief of love..

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~ by HopeGlenn on January 20, 2014.

3 Responses to “Reluctance..or simply wisdom…”

  1. All certainly true for me, but I have developed layers of coping mechanisms as I’ve grown older. The world is not always kind, is it? Peace and Joy, Brenda

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    • No it is not always kind…and lately I have found more angst than love…and we learn to cope..and then move forward in love…I have to admit though..I do not get unkindness…

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      • Some unkindness isn’t deliberate. I don’t think so anyway. But some of it is quite deliberate, like an animal striking out in its own pain. I try not to do that, but I think I do inadvertently hurt people sometimes, and I always feel sad after. Perhaps even sadder than they are. We are all on a journey, with rocks in the path and tree roots to trip over. We all can try again tomorrow.

        We all get time periods that seem all angst, raining angst, flooding angst, dried up remains of angst. And yet, eventually love comes back. I will hope for your sake, that your time of angst is drawing to a close, and that love is rushing back your way.

        Peace and Joy, Brenda

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