I have more chances than I thought…

I was thinking about this journey I am on….

And it is not just a journey of accomplishing this solitary goal…

It is a goal of life…to live…to feel…to take off the protective armor..of making sure I do not get hurt..or offended..or wounded..or love..

It is the stepping into the coliseum…if I may use the example…and facing the lions…

And watching them lie down with you..and let you rest your head..upon theirs….dozing..deep into the heart beat of something more powerful than you imagined…

I thought..this space I had entered..of claiming this position for my life was just that….and doing it despite the forces that appear..and give the appearance of being against you…

When they are actually teachers..and dare you to look behind them…and compel you to look at those surrounding you..

I thought this was about unlocking things…beliefs..flushing them out and giving props to those that held truth…

And that is part of it…

It is about recognizing the vast intelligence we hold within us…the capacity..and saying..I am intelligent..and not a second of it demeans another…it just moves you forward..one more step…

And the huge point of it for me…something I did not expect in my life..is…

Not doing this alone…and recognizing..I had locked my heart away..from love..being given to me…and someone hearing my voice…and liking it…

And when you venture down that highway…you see the thoughts you contain…

I dress to not get notice..blend…yet I get noticed…not what I had planned…

I do not visit certain places…stay away from public..alone even though the room is filled…

Yet I am on the stage..and people are wanting to hear what I say…and it is a lot more than ..you sure have pretty blue eyes….

I have stepped into the pathway of life…

And I got hit by the bus…run over by the dump truck…went backwards off the swings..

And someone was standing there…and nobody was before…

To do this..thing..I am doing..to accomplish even a sliver of it…I must LOVE…

I must unwrap all the cords..and locks and bombs keeping my heart safe…

And place my heart..in the safety of another(s)…

I must be willing to fall..stub my toe…and have part of me carried with another…even one who you never thought..would be sitting inside the picture frame..

It requires peeling back the layers..part of the onion…and exposing parts..kept safe…

I have to…I have to say..the reality…

Just like the exploding soda in my purse…the paper dropped in the dirt..and no time to redo..the bus breaking down and me feeling like a burden…and 5.00 to get me there and back…

And thinking this week..one night..I would not be home till after midnight..waiting for the bus..in cold temperatures…

But instead of hiding..I spoke…and a ride was offered…

Instead of saying..I cannot feel that..I have no time..I already had a turn and failed…I considered..and heard the words I missed you…

And being tired…like I have not felt in years…I tutored..gave the time…and I heard the words thank you..I really get this now..

So to get to the goal…I guess..

You Have To Live Along The Way….

Advertisements

~ by HopeGlenn on January 18, 2014.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: