God is with us..was with us..and will always be with us…

In everything….

I had a talk with a family member last night…and I was enlightened…I guess that is the correct word…and they revealed something that I had thought was a solitary event….life lesson…yet had actually been the path..direction..train of thought…of many…as to what they hold closest within themselves…and why they have chosen to be the people..they have become…

I had a completely different topic…one that expressed my angry voice..which usually results from me going into the world during this holiday season…and wanting to set things right…(giggle now please)…

But I paused..and thought…we do not need to be told anymore certain things…

Like we sell ourselves…and we cheapen things to make them more palatable…we lie to achieve a goal…we buy people..and especially our children…

Those sort of things…but I decided..nope…we know this…but maybe we do not know…how much God is with us in everything…even the things that make you scream…

And it was in talking with a family member..that I remembered…and it all came back…

Like sitting under the kitchen table..which in my house..as a child..was a picnic table..eating dog food…with my sister..watching the world go by..and thinking..this is just what you do…

Or watching our sister be dragged from the room..by our father…

Or having babies..with men…who would spend a lifetime..turning your children against you..

Or when you tried something really hard…and you succeeded…

Or when you noticed that the sky is so blue…and no one had to tell you to smile…

These moments…adventures..are the times..you know…

God is with us..was with us..and will always be with us…

Not just in the pretty moments…like graduations..or marriages..or births….or doing the one thing..or ten things they said you could not do…

But in the moments..when your sisters and brothers were tortured…and so were you..for being children…and the product..that your father found unsatisfactory…

And in the moments…as you watch your friend..parent..waste away from a disease…

And in the moments…you work and work to complete a paper..or study for an exam…and you are told..you are too old…your voice is not needed here…

And when you realize..that you cannot really forgive something…and you have to stop pretending you can..and work on forgiving yourself…because there are some things..we simply cannot do…

And I spend my heart into thinking….how loving is God…

How he made two little girls and their little brother think they were eating steak..when they were munching on dog food…and we lived…and have nothing wrong with us…from eating that…well..dog food…

And how you could see God..holding your friend..as their body took over…and the storms quieted…

Just like when you sat in a closet…and danger passed you by…while you laughed with God…and to this day..it still makes me smile..

And when your children..well did something you can hardly forgive..and you are worn out from trying….

And God is not shaking His finger at me..telling me..if I cannot forgive..neither can He…

He is weeping..and saying…Oh my child…how that must hurt..and ache…and He is sorry…

God..in all the events..that propel us into life…

And God..in all the events..that feel like they bring death…

And I have to hold tight..to what I know God is..and what this world works so hard at erasing…

Not fairy tales..and if I squeeze my eyes shut enough…all the dark will go away…

No…not that…

But this…

The knowledge that God was there..is there…and will always be there….

Because if He was not..how did I know to choose Him…?

And have the courage to speak…and say…No I cannot forgive that…and have the guts to not let go…?

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~ by HopeGlenn on December 25, 2013.

3 Responses to “God is with us..was with us..and will always be with us…”

  1. “The knowledge that God was there..is there…and will always be there….”

    sometimes none of it makes any sense to me….the s**t that has occurred in the past and then when I tell myself god was there/is there…it can be tough to believe but we must cling to that hope 🙂

    Like

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