Tell me..do not…tell me…

Gratitude…Thankful…

What do I have gratitude for…?

What am I told to be grateful for…?

Now that is something I can nail down better….

I am told to be grateful because I can stand upright…while smiling through the pain…and such a dazzling smile it is…

Yet I have no gratitude for the blows…punches..neglect..given by my father..children..husband…

So I guess it would surmise to say..I am not grateful for the ability to stand upright..with mind numbing pain…

I am told to be grateful that I am portable..easy to travel from spot to spot…amiable..do not have many things to worry about…

Yet I am not grateful..for my home being stolen from me…a lifetime of work..invested..taken away because someone well…just did not feel like keeping a contract…a vow..

So I guess it would suffice to say..that I am not inching toward the awesome meter..of knowing I am a breath away from homeless…and have been there before…

Yet I am thankful for a kind soul..that allows me to rest my head within their home…and has exampled to me the kindness..Jesus spoke of and lived..

I am told to be grateful…for sons who beat women…and live in a society which supports..dragging women under your feet…and disposable….

Yet I am not thankful…for the blows I took from them and their daddy..in a method to convince me.. I was just that..disposable…

I am thankful..have gratitude…for the common sense..the ability to speak the words…NO…this stops here…despite the proclamations of love..ah yes the proclamations of love…

I am told to be grateful…for what words I have to tell…yet most of them are trying to prove to others..that this abused human being..is not a monster..or a whore..or an addict…and yes..you are talking to the real me…

I am thankful…that I have my voice…and I have no misunderstanding of God…and I do not need assistance…in speaking to Him…and even if I can never see I am beautiful..God does…

I am grateful…that I never fully believed those who want silence…

I am not grateful to be duplicated..and trust me..it is not flattery…

I am grateful to still mourn my brother..gone thirty plus years now…

I am not grateful that my only family is in another state..trying to do the same thing I am doing…stability..and one solid moment…

I am grateful for having children..despite all the complications..

I am not grateful that they all sold me for pocket change…just as they sold themselves..their siblings..and eventually their partners in life…

So gratitude…grateful..thankful…is really my decision..my desire..

It does not stem from one’s assumptions of when they look at me..and surmise…in quick cliche statements…

Gratitude..grateful…really just thankful..I got today…and truthfully..none of the hoohaw created to get here…

Gratitude…

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~ by HopeGlenn on November 29, 2013.

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