What is standing in the way…..?

I always thought…coming where I come from…I would have or had a harder time finding light….God…living in a world of perpetual darkness..with people around who were continually…trying to make you believe..there is no light..God..and that I was about as special as well….lug nut…

And maybe at times I was as special as a lug nut…and it was the times when I believed…well others..and did not believe God….and too many people take advantage of others vulnerability and searching….

Like I said earlier…I have discovered at the ripe ole age of fifty-one…that I did not need a building or one who had gotten a religious education to find God…light…

Yet I did need God….to discover why we make things so hard on ourselves..and why we fight so hard for no one to see what we really are…

Many people spend time doing the smoke and mirrors…and some do it well…but what happens when someone sees…. the short..chubby guy behind the curtain..pushing buttons..? what then..?

And lately I have met many people..and I cringed on the many…who were like the above mentioned…all smoke and mirrors..and really upset when they realized…someone had figured out the show…

I watched someone tell me that they were the ultimate guidance on God…their belief was the “true” belief and I could not possibly understand the scriptures…or God talking to me….surely I was mistaken…I needed mental health assistance…

Hmmm…that sounds familiar….

Kind of like the day I told a shelter boss…she was inflicting the same abuse on these women and children as the abuser was…and that abused women are not crazy..just really wounded and really scared…

And we create a system in our society which supports the continual abuse of victims..economically…spiritually…mentally and socially…no wonder they are forced to return…over and over again…

Because no one wants to have to help the victim unwind….nobody wants to give them the time….

It is easier and strokes us that we are doing good..when we tell them they are crazy..medicate them and tell them to be grateful for the fact we saw their lunacy and were able to save the rest of the public from them….

Nobody wants to see the control…disguised as pretty..enacted upon the victim…and how we have turned everyone..including the children against them…

And they suffocate anyone who speaks different…or says…”hold on a minute…that felt like a punch…”

I saw this recently..and it made me drop my head…

Someone who swore to be there..became in the church’s eyes a protector and guide for me…ran for the hills…but not before spilling all their hate onto me…because well…I defied them…I saw true colors…

Another rushed me so fast out of their doorway..because they are not the leave it to beaver home they like to show…they do not have the show together…and keeping everyone at a distance…allows them to proclaim how poorly they are treated…

Another sat down with me..and scoped for information…to use against others…and concluded we are all in stages of breakdowns…and to be honest..she is the one sitting closest to that door…

It is through the process of trying to be pleasing…to this world…

God is ever so clear on these points…

The world will hate you…

Nobody likes a five year old to say….I know God….

Nobody likes a survivor to say…drugs do not work…and you are hurting them just like the abuser…this is not working…

Nobody likes to hear a mother say…you have to go…I am not a punching bag….and you know what you are doing…you did not just fall into this…

Nobody likes to be called on the carpet…not even me….

And God calls me on the carpet often…

For sticking myself in a building and believing this is the only place God is at…

For not believing unless someone gives it credence that I am doing well…or that I am moving in the right direction…

For spending years…I mean years trying to be what they would find lovely…and all I became is ugly..ugly..ugly….

The road of pleasing others is a road of death…

It buries you bit by bit….

And you will go crazy…you will be in a mental ward..on drugs..because you want the words to just stop…

But they do not..as long as one seeks to please this world…

And believe they are having a breakdown…they are a fool..and need counseling because they are not trustworthy….

All will fail…

God is not found…with a slap across the mouth..with blood dripping from the cut…

God is found when you stand up…and look behind the stained glass windows…and rote memorization…and pictures painted to represent God and the right way…

When one steps to the side…and stands next to…the one society sees as useless…because we are just the same…

We prostitute ourselves out for things…lie to hide..punch to make another believe they are crazy..ignore another so we can eat to gluttony…create the theater show so no one knows how lost we are…drug and drink so know one can see the pain oozing out of everything…ignore so we do not have to acknowledge that we can aid someone…or someones….

It is a tough spot to be in..when one realizes we have created this world…and we choose to keep it this way…

Maybe it is true..that those who have traveled a hell path have a harder time finding God….but doubts are creeping in….

Its not like God is hiding….

I think we are the ones who are hiding….

And after you do that for a long time…well you think it is normal….

And normal can really suck….

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~ by HopeGlenn on October 20, 2013.

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