This quilt I am making…..

For a space of time now..I have been working on a quilt..mainly in my head and a few sketches here and there…yet working on it…

About a month ago I gathered the fabrics…and started the thoughts..pattern part of producing..creating anything…

I read book upon book of patterns..went to my known resources..consulted and heard what others thought..and then moved forward….

And this quilt has become how many of us spend our lives…being pieced back together…

Identity..thought..faith..dreams..intelligence..family..future hopes..have all been pieces that I can say have been torn off of me..this person..and now I am slowly..and sometimes it seems at the speed of light..trying to attach them back…

Innocence and faith were the first things taken from me…and they are reflected in the colors I chose for this quilt…soft, feminine..laughing pinks…and fresh..life reflecting greens….

And every time I run my hand over the quilt..with these colors..one more scar eases back..and it is barely noticeable in the bright lights and neon….

Family was the next to be taken…first my brother, my best friend..Glenn..and then the slow tortuous methods of turning children against a parent..and me losing my sons…he did it because he could..and I would not play along…

So yellow is next in line…soft like butter…little spouts of sunflowers..sunshine to warm hard memories…remembering reading books with my sons…talking..laughing…and the days when they liked me…

And yellow again mixed in with the flower prints..to remind me..of how precious life is..and stop wasting time…because if it is not our pride taking people away…hushing them up..it is violence…and no one can undo that….

Last to be mocked and used …is my talent..my intelligence..the thing a woman is not to speak of…abilities which have been mocked all my life…gifts I now use and honor…because they are rare indeed…

Grey comes last because it is the most somber..it is the grey of an overcast day..like living in Seattle…not cold..not heavy…just somber…

It eases the boldness of pink…makes the greens a bit livelier and warms oh warms one with the yellow….

The grey fills in all the cracks…

The grey mends the tears…

The grey fills in the empty spaces…..

The grey defines…

Pink has restored new life..a faith stronger and resting in God…it reminds me to stay innocent..pure…and it is showing me what I really look like…not what the thoughts in my head think….

Green has produced new life..family…in the most unexpected places….

It has shown me that the thing I thought I could not do…I am going to do…

Yellow has warmed my sad soul..when all I can think of is loss…it shows me life..and helps me rearrange the pattern..a different direction…a new step…

And if I can find God…so can they….all choice…and how happy are we with what we have chosen to be…and what will we do about it…

Is our pride the most important..saving face..another gadget..or is it life….

Grey is not the grey matter for me..there is no blurring of the lines…it is the connector piece…the ease…the one that allows me to really look at people…to return to hope..faith..and yes love….

A quilt…which I thought would look pretty upon a bed…bright..happy…

As it turns out..it gets to heal…fill in the gaps..renew a spirit..reveal a hidden mystery…reflect a heart…spread light on a path….

It is not lined up and twists and turns and then stops…it does not have a definition…and shines and illuminates a path..I never thought I would go….

It is a discovery of the path of this one…and maybe a few others…

Something gets torn off..something replaces…

Something is lost..something is found…

The pattern makes no sense…and I could not find it in any book…yet it makes perfect sense….

That which is lost is now found…that which is hated is now loved…that which was impossible is now complete….

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~ by HopeGlenn on September 25, 2013.

4 Responses to “This quilt I am making…..”

  1. Wow! I wish that I could see the finished product … hint, hint *

    Like

  2. Your description of the different colors associated with what your feelings are for this project sound fascinating to me. ♡

    Like

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