Blessed…? Blessings….?

I remember a few years back the term used in religious…secular circles…of being blessed….

I heard stories..accounting’s to give validations to the fact one was blessed…and here is the evidence…and each and every one of them was based in some physical abundance..having something one could wrap their hands around..

Like the mansion one has acquired or the latest and greatest phone…sleek polished car…clothing…more food than one knows what to do with..ability to go out every day of the week…a partner to share in the luxuries with…living the life of a movie star…

On a side note I cannot seem to grasp why anyone would want to replicate the life of a movie star or think these individuals were exuding happiness….

Recently the statement of “did I know I was blessed” was spoken to me…and it jarred me…made me think of the unnecessary things we say to people to get them back in line…get them to be doing and thinking as we feel best..because we all know I know best for everyone else..when I can barely brush my teeth…get the point…?

We relate blessed or God’s favor to things…and lots of them..and all that really means is we have worked really hard at acquiring…getting stuff…and convincing people we are doing something right…

Is the person on the corner..or the one dying of cancer…or the abused person any less blessed..is God removing his favor from them…?

In our eyes we say yes…and we believe they deserve every blow they get….and we do not grasp that they have something that keeps life moving in us….

Through the struggle..we must lean on God…even if we do not know the words…just like a four year old…maybe it is just weeping…

Because honestly..anybody can work a job…or another person and have lots of things..anyone…

I am blessed…yet not for the reasons a few might think…

I am blessed because I keep seeking God…that is the direction I lean…started when I was about 4…hiding in the closet hoping my daddy would somehow forget today was my day to be terrorized…

And in that rapid..crazy thought of a child being hurt I reached out to God….

See He..God..Abba…had been there all along…yet it was the first time my lips made the physical action of speaking..my heart had done it all along…and in that moment of a child’s pleading..the steps of danger passed me by…

I am blessed…and I prefer to use the term..recipient…to whom much is given..much is expected….

I had no mother…so when it came time to learn..God gave me that..because I turned towards him..not a book or even what my husband said…and four sons were given to this woman…

I messed up..lots and lots…yet in all the turmoil and the confusion that was cast into my life…I turned to God..and realized..wow what an opportunity I got…and bucked the system…not always in the best way…and refused to believe that this all came about through some freak meteor shower…a big poof….

No this all came about in a direct motion…

I am blessed….truly…

I fight a disease…might end my life..but I tell you..my heart is softer because I can relate..and sometimes a hand on a hand…and saying I know…is the greatest blessing…and we all are diseased…some are just better at veiling it..or making it go away…in many ways…because we view the sick in our society as being out of God’s favor….hmmmm…

I have no home…no car…no real means to get food…no health care..a few clothes…just what I need…and a pair of jeans that need a patch in the knee…no job…and it may be awhile till I get one…no family..all deceased or taken from me…

Yet I am so blessed…they fall like rain upon me…and I am soaking them in…

I have God…and no matter how bad that last blow hurt..I am still going to fall on my knees before God and ask Him to show me what it is I need to see…what part of my soul..my heart am I keeping veiled…safe..?

What fear..what possession…what person(s)…what is it..that is keeping me from being present..clear…?

I am blessed….and wow…how much God must think of me to give me all this….

This being today…and waking up ten times last night…seeing the sun in the sky…eyes to read…and crinkle when I smile…hands shaky as they may be..to fix a cup of tea…put together that quilt..sew that dress..that is in pattern I never thought I would wear…hands to do dishes and sweep..legs to hold me up even when my spine is dancing a jig..and I do not like the dance…to stand next to a friend..who has given me a place to rest my head…and WOW..getting to help them in their life with simple things..but are ones that take the shoulders down from the ears..or check one thing off the list….

I am blessed….

And I aint got nothing….

Except one thing….and it aint a thing…

It is mighty God….Abba…Comforter..Provider..Teacher..Shepherd…

For a long time I always thought it was things..that disintegrate…that showed how much God loved me…

And as 51 quickly approaches…I suddenly got that it aint a thing…..it is nothing in this world…and for that I am forever grateful….

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~ by HopeGlenn on September 16, 2013.

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