Neglecting…..

Eyes on what is well…..the thing I am to be doing…

If one always focuses on others…then they fall in the ditch…

If one always focuses on self…one smacks into a wall of reality….

And they both leave a mark….

So where is my step to be….?

If I take a moment and spend it with friends…coworkers whom I would go to the ends of the world for…I feel well bad..as if I was late for work 1000 times or I left my job without completing all my work..and I left it for others to do…

If I take a moment and run around and do errands..on my time off..

Or want to be alone…or not get the coded messages from another who a. wants to spend time with me…or b. needs assistance from me….

I feel like I let the world down…and I probably have…

The pendulum seems to always swing too far in one direction…and spends little time…(cough) balanced in the middle….

I reference Jesus..because He is my role model…the one I look to for everything…the walk I try to emulate on at least some level…

Jesus was in the crowds..working hard..speaking hard…and we like to think the parables were coded messages..but they are not…

Our hearts..well I can only speak for me…is so stuck on what I want..that sometimes I cannot hear…life…

Jesus was stern..direct..with his disciples…kind of like our children..spouse…friends…coworkers…

He did not want anyone slipping into the pit of despair..self pity and self abuse….

And he did not want anyone walking around thinking….I…I…me me me me….

God was showing us balance..

Jesus worked hard…but he also withdrew hard…he separated wheat from the chaff…self care from self presumption…

And it never stopped…

It was at the cross..when the robber asked Jesus to remember him…and 100% was given to that man…and we are reminded..that it is never too late….

It is at the talking to the 1000’s…and the path…of how to walk..and what to do..is given…so vastly different than what we are told and shown…

It is hard to know what is the way..and what is a great distraction….

So I am going to keep moving forward…

Seeking God..even when it is comes in the form of a customer who really is upset…

Or it is spending time with me..myself and I…and feeling bad…and questioning myself..as to why I feel bad..and knowing I am being distracted from God…

Looking to Jesus…

He confronted..he spoke loud and clear..he loved with abandon..he made one aware that it is never too late….and made it very clear we need to stop doing things in code…and having people guess what is going on…I will never guess right…..and he separated himself from everything and everyone…

I spend too much time looking out there…in the wild blue yonder…for direction…

And then I keep remembering….I have the guidebook..I have the directions..and way better than MapQuest….

And I keep wondering…when will this stop…obviously not at 50…but I sure hope I am closer…

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~ by HopeGlenn on June 13, 2013.

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