Dropping a few pounds….

I believe that this world is being consumed with sadness…and there is a desperate attempt by some souls to not believe all is lost…

It is a hard..at best place to be in…believing lies..no one cares..it is not worth the struggle…

And I know I do not stand alone when I talk about being weary…

And tonight I thought..when do we get to stop believing the lies..?

When do we get to have all the theories and explanations that describe you as a fruitcake..thrown out like trash…?

I spent too many years being told lies..and when I stood up to the lies..every attempt to annihilate me was endeavored upon…especially by those closest to me…

And I wonder what would have become of me if I had not fought so much..to demand truth and kindness…and the defilement of giving our word…violation upon violation…

And this mind captures it briefly..yet my heart gets it full throttle…

Honesty..hard work..determination..kindness…happy demeanor…are near about some of the most threatening behaviors one can have…

And to retain those…live discovering and in glimpses the truth about me..is a lonely field…

At first…

We are so enamored and super glued to the description the world gives us…and we make it our own…we believe it is us..and thus we act out the part well…

And what happens..with just one instance of someone refuting..showing us that we have been horribly lied to…? What then…?

What do we do with the history that says..you are useless…emotional..pathetic…frigid…garbage…and nobody likes you…matter of fact..you are 100% replaceable….what then…?

Well….perhaps you are shocked when you hear words such as…

“you are a good worker”

“you are so kind”

“you are a pretty lady..or a handsome man”

“you are smart”

“you have a huge heart…so loving”

How does that add up to all the garbage..ignoring..denying your existence..replaceable…methodology that has been the active member in your life..from what seems like forever….

It made me think about recent events in our world…

People without thought taking life..because it has no value…and it does not matter where you look…or how you make it look..it holds nothing….

People taking other people..and making them prisoners..well because they can…

And maybe this is the center..the crux of this…they can…and we believe and take these descriptions on to be truth..because well..if those you love are speaking them..they must be true…

And then steps in real life…

Employers..who would swear before a high court..that you are the best thing since sliced bread…

Students who credit their ability to understand and complete their art..to you…

Creations in paper..paint..fabric..words…which take the breathe away…

Simple statements…glad to have you as a friend..loveliness…

More things than I can count…and none of it adds up to the lies one is told…

And I sat still for a moment…and my heart wandered to a thought…

Does my choice..to follow light…bother others…?

What does kindness do to an observer..who has decided cheating is the best path..?

I realized that sickness is so prevalent in our society..we do not know the difference…

We barely flinch when life is taken…we almost decide the verdict and how the victim’s actions..made the event happen…

We can barely hear anothers voice..let alone their opinion..or thought because it is different than ours…

We demand things our way..and when they do not go our way..we are cruel..and that is a light..fluffy word to most behaviors…

I lost my family when I said infidelity..stealing…and fraud were not something we should be doing…

I lost my children because I could not and would not fill their pockets with trinkets…

And I do not know how to describe this feeling…the feeling of finding me…

Of realizing..stopping dead in my tracks..that maybe something was wrong with the bubble I was living in…

I lost..but not really…they were never mine to begin with..it is like money..here today..gone tomorrow…

Kind of like people..here today..and when you awaken…they are gone…and did you do what you should have done with them..or did we just keep trivializing our gifts..to make them marginal at best…?

I got told today…that my friend..coworker was so lucky to know me..and have the privilege of knowing me…

And it stopped me solid..and I paused..and did wait for the kick in the butt..and the slap across the already bruised cheek…

And it never came…and something deep was pulled out..and it hurt…

Simple word LIE….and it would or felt easier to slip back into “other” thinking…

It is like the women who were held captive..and they are good..solid..happy…

Boy…that is going to upset some people…especially the ones who make the statistics..or say victims are this and that…

It is like Theories 101…

What do you do..huh..when they figure you out..finally discover that it is all a lie…and they are not the sad..angry person….?

I do not know about you…but I do not think I want to stand so close..or even be near that..

Because truth..has this way of setting things on fire….and there is not way..no way of putting out that flame….

Advertisements

~ by HopeGlenn on May 9, 2013.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: