Reflection

I have read a bit of posts lately on the bitterness many hold with churches….

And I for a brief moment in time held the same thought..the same opinion as many….

I felt they did service to no one..least of all those in need within their midst…and less of all to those in society who were searching…and thought that a place representing God could possible supply and answer or two…I found them to be more of takers of your hope and funds..than most anything…

And then I found that I was searching for answers through the slicked up..shiny paper..make me feel good magazine ads..of our time..not black and whites..which have the tendency to show the bumps and wrinkles…but glossy airbrushed illusions..which feed us in a comfortable way…yet is like an alcoholic thinking just one sip will be okay..I got a handle on this…

I thought I had a handle on this…I thought I grasped the views I was fed..the words of feel good…nonsense..and then drop your money in the plate….and if one does such..they will have favor..and prosper…

Those who were struggling..were trying to figure their way through the maze…held no value..and were not succeeding….and just were not getting it right…because it was a struggle…plain and simple…

Like I said..I was seeing many articles about..not believing..not choosing God..not even seeking because of all the hyped up..jacked up..reasons to not seek..or for that matter question..

It was like the voice I have lived with so long..the one that says…I can say something nasty back..they said something nasty to me…I can slap them..they slapped me first…I can flip them off..they took the parking spot in front of me..and I was there first…I can speak unkindly about them…they spoke about someone else..or they did something I do not like..and why bother to ask how come..I will just be well…nasty…

So many reasons to just refuse to see and not do much of anything…and most of all not believe..and hold what this world offers as to be truth…

And then I read about Judas this morning….and how he hung himself over money..popularity…

We want to believe it was about his sorrow about betrayal…but he had been doing that all along…

He hung himself because he got caught…and it was discovered that he loved money more than anything..and especially the one he was following and the gathering of men..who were seeking to bring hope to this generation…

We do not want to get caught..and when we do we get angry..and have such a defense…

I can hear the words now…because well I have spoken them..and had them spoken to me…and now I know better…

I can see when someone is focused on money and what can I get..what can I get…because God is showing that as a reflection to me..because it is something in my life which needs attention..it may not be at the level of someone else..but for me personally..it has its points of daggers in my life..and is causing me..separation from humanity..and most of all God…

When I see something..and it pinches in me..I pay attention..and try my darndest to not numb it away…

When I judge another on appearance…too much this and too much that..why are they hiding..I know it is a reflection on me..very little here..very little there..and I blend..become the wallflower…

When I am at work  and I am adding up in my head what I might get for the day…and how I will lack if I do not do..double shifts…or my coworker who is dropping to their knees because they are exhausted from constant work..to have the car…the phone..I am being shown they I do not see my provision..how I have the very best..it is just colored in a different way…and I am truly not in trust….and I honestly believe….I got this….nope…

So that is why I am paying attention..especially during Holy Week..but even more so this year that I ever have before…to Judas…and the woman who anointed Jesus with costly perfume…

Because too many times I have found myself holding the money pot…and giving it my heart and soul…and at one point I was hooking the noose around my neck…

And too many people are finding out way too late..and are in despair..which is exactly the place the world wants them…that money is nothing when it rules your world…

And they are hanging on the edge of the box..by their toes..rope cinched..

We do not got this people…not even close…and the glossed up ads are lies…

I am going the other way of Judas..because I do not want to even think about putting the noose around my neck…I have the t-shirt from that play….

I am going the way of the woman..in tears…not even able to look at Jesus..because she knew she had been playing the game…so in her way..she took what had immense value to her..and poured it at his feet…and I can only imagine what that felt like…and how Jesus lifted her head to him and smiled…

And in the same breath..he sat in grief…knowing love had lost a good soul to money…to some paper..we make king…

And I have a feeling..it was one of the saddest moments for Jesus…as with anyone..to lose life over something that kills it….

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~ by HopeGlenn on May 3, 2013.

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