I gotta go there…..

Today…borrowing a friend’s car to do errands…since traveling on a bus does not allow without much work and effort…I was reminded of utter selfishness….

And I again looked in the mirror and had to look at the reflection of thinking I too act in similar ways…

A generation of self importance…a quick dive into the swirling masses of what must be done..or if I did not know better..all would collapse…

I stressed last night while waiting to catch the bus to work…thoughts of being late…being embarrassed for being late…and not planning my time better…all swirled through my tension filled..loopy head for the moment…

And then I was at work..no one cared much that I was 3 minutes late…the evening went well and besides working I had the opportunity to meet some neat people….one who shared my name…and another knew of the city I come from….I had a moment to connect and remember what we are here for…

Then this morning as road work is being done…and one lane had to merge with another..I got told…in some a magnificent way…(not really)…that I was in someones way and merging was not allowed on her time…you know I am smiling right…?

She even decided at the light to roll down her window…and scream obscenities to me for the pause..she was asked to take and allow someone entrance…to allow someone before her and not try to crunch the car…or scream up so close to you…you could feel the two cars joining….or the flipping me off..or the yelling and threatening words addressed at the driver who made her realize there were others in this world…and I do not think she liked that….

And I thought….where have we gone…? Where is humanity…? Why would anyone think this is appropriate actions…?

This happens all the time….

And it starts with freezing our feet to the floor so someone has to struggle to get past….

It starts with humphing at the person taking too long finding an item on the grocery shelf…

It starts with breathing down the neck of the person struggling to pull out the debit card or count out change for the coffee or fast food meal in front of us…

And then one is using hand gestures my parents taught me were not nice…and only leads to worse things..like colorful words flying forth from the mouth….

Then hands slap…fists fly…and people fall down..and lock themselves away..because they just are not quick enough….

Next thing you know…people have to do things our way..or it just is not good enough….

No one wants to hear about what you believe..your faith…because they are tired..mightily tired of being thumped….

No one wants to hear about your day…because all one can do is talk about theirs….

Then we do not let someone in the door in front of us…then refuse them a parking spot because we may have to walk 10 feet….

Or will not let someone merge into traffic…and if they happen to get in..despite our best maneuvers…we curse them so profoundly…we no longer grasp what we are doing…

Next we take little care of ourselves…and slowly poison and wound ourselves so we become numb…and think this is all the way it is…get used to it…

And then one watches from a safe…location as a bomb is ticking off behind a child…and we see the explosion…we walk past the hungry…ill looking…dirty..smelly people who line our sidewalks…and I know this look…I used to be one of the ill looking…smelly people lining our sidewalks…and I hope I still am…

Because all I wanted to do…was walk up to this lady…and ask her…why…?…

Why was that display so needed….why…

And does she even grasp what just went down…?

I do not know…I think there are too many layers for that question to penetrate….

It is Holy Tuesday in my faith…it is about knowledge..questioning…repentance…something penetrating the armor we are encased in….

I think something got in…..

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~ by HopeGlenn on April 30, 2013.

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