Strange thing happened on my way to life….?

When perchance does one step back and lose all sense of belief in this world and strike in great accord the faith towards God…?

How does one release the ills of this world..the many perils and pitfalls…to move forward ahead in belief meeting action…?

How does one operate in this world, yet not be part of this world…?

I thought I had been careless..and in truth I had been..in some areas…my trust was given to those who truly had not earned it from me or any other being on this planet…and my distrust, my skepticism was given to those whose hearts I admired…

Perhaps it was due to my upbringing..the way I was injured..yet as every human being can see…what is right and wrong..good and evil…light into darkness…

We have become so accustomed to distracting oneself from the clarity present…so we believe the lie..and waste precious time…time never returned..in seeking favor from a darkness which quickly erodes…

Yet I am not careless…I have my moments of deep neglect of self…a gift we all have…yet I have given so much of me, time to the care of the human spirit…the life force that was given to us at the moment of creation…

And that is one way..my most profound way..darkness has occupied me…with the firmly held belief that I am wasting my time…

Affirmed, assured, given prizes of splendor..as I dwell on the issue of lack of’s…and my desire for light and love..I am told are a vain pursuit..and my desire to heal..create pockets of hope are childish..foolish antics of a beaten down soul….

And for a moment..I believed it as truth…

And again I stood at the threshold of choice…and again I walked through the doorway of being set apart from the world I was told..should be my all consuming pursuit…

Would I rather have food bought through dirty hands…a comfy place to rest this body facing a paralyzing disease…be one of the muckety mucks?…sleep with one eye open…and tighten like an e string when darkness parading as light came around…?

Or did I prefer..to eat bread…humbly earned through labor…rest that did not come about through pills to force it upon one…and somehow find my shoulders helping me stand tall..rather than strung about my ears…?

What did I want..? And was I ready to apply the truth I had learned over these fifty years…or was I permanently stuck on the dance of approval….?

Would I believe God’s words of…I will care for you..you will not go without food..shelter..protection…would I risk everything for that..believe it like it was true…?…Would I..will I…?

I want to believe that I do not know where this path is going…yet I do….

I grasp it better than I grasp anything else…

For God says..promises…that if He cares for the birds in the air…He will care for me…

And that is a mercy..a grace…an act of such love…I will be prepared for….and this time…I will accept it…

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~ by HopeGlenn on December 31, 2012.

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