There is something about listening with the heart….

There is something about listening…breathing…and paying attention with the heart..the soul..the seat of our being…

Not focusing so much on what we hear..even though that holds its level of importance…yet giving more to what happens inside our heart..the check..the moment when one realizes truth..in all of its discovery…

Our eyes can deceive us..our ears can twist and turn words around to suit what we perhaps may want to hear…

Yet I have found and known..the fail safe device of the heart…

Whether one is wounded..angry..medicated..or numbed out of their brain…the heart..the seat of the soul still responds…over and over again…and it tells us which way to go..which way we should have gone…and shows us the truth about oneself…

Most want to believe the lies about oneself..all the manipulating..seizing words and actions one uses to break down the spirit of another…

It is so much easier to succumb to the angry face in front of us..the spit moving off the lips..the brutal words.. the all so  angry, filthy person in front of us..does not have to face..have an accounting…of what they have chosen to be…

It is a much harder task..to sit in the middle of the cyclone and breath…slowly…to look past the performance..and realize they are terrified of life..terrified to use the heart..and long ago they chose a really dark thing…a really dark thing…

I had to face that mark..that spot..that crossroads…first when I was one…then when I was fourteen..then when I was nineteen..then when I was forty..and now when I am fifty…

The performance has not changed..they just use history against you…

And the one thing..the only thing one must do..is stop…and listen to the soul..that great big beating heart..that pounds you almost into the floor..every time a cross word is spoken to another..or you…

The one that shakes..and feels your knees crumbling..as you are ripped to shreds..and told you are the reason..you are beaten..raped..starved..persecuted..lied about..stolen from..

The part of you..that somehow does not believe it..and whispers through your tears..that it is not true…and will never be true…

The part..that grasps..how beautiful a flower petal is…the part that thinks a bird chirp is a symphony…the part that roars with laughter from deep inside..because you heard the joke..about why did the chicken cross the road…the part that wants to make it all stop..and believes a hug will make it better…if you could remember what that felt like…

It is not the voice..that comes out and calls you dirty…worthless..only good for one thing…

It is not the voice that calls you ugly..old..useless when you look in the mirror..

It is not the old tapes playing in your head…over and over again..and you have to believe them..because the idiot..the one that bludgeons people said it was so…

It is the one that screams..not too often at them..and tells them what they are..mean..unkind..evil..and then feels bad because you had to say that to another…

It is the one that weeps…because seeing that person on the corner..tipped you over the edge…and any change you had..you gave..and you did not listen..to the voice that said you were stupid..and pointless..they would only get drugs…

It is that voice..that knows what you are…even though I can barely say it..because I am starting to forget..and it is time for me to get away from all this hate..so I can see me again…

It is that voice..that still believes..love heals everything…there is just a catch…not everyone has love…and that is their choice…one you chose not to make…

It is the voice that is weeping now..while I type..because the sadness of those choices..violence..hate..is feeding..multiplying…and some will not be able to say or find the ability anymore…

The ability to say…NO..I am beautiful…..

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~ by HopeGlenn on September 6, 2012.

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