Too dark….light back on…thanks for hanging….

I have to admit…I have been writing from a dark place lately..

It is my own fault…I have allowed lies..defeat..to color my thoughts..

I almost sunk into the abyss of the lies I have been told..the lies to keep me in my place..

The lies proliferated..so many would stay in the dark..and never..ever see truth…

Being a crusader and all..I could not let that happen…

I would gladly give my life for another…yet still value my life..despite the enormous bumps(if you can call them that)..that have filled my life…

And in the quest of insanity of trying to understand..why this..how come..why do they do that..?

I discovered..this would be far from an easy adventure…

I would spend most of my time looking down..and wiping the sweat from my brow…

Yet when I looked up..and even before..because I felt it inside..I would know the beauty of the sun..the color of the sky..whether blue or grey..enjoy the dance of the clouds before me..

I knew dark would be attracted to me..it always moves to light..and then tries to smother it..

I knew my voice would try to be silenced..and I knew many would play..twist and use my childhood and marriage against me..because they felt it had an advantage in their court…and that I never really got..

Because the only thing I have ever thought of doing to someone who had walked a similar path as mine..was to hug them..and plant a kiss upon their brow..something I have never received…

So I step out of darkness..the cloudy..misty fog that wants to envelope me..and sort of took away my hope..

And in this I realized…it took away my hope in the people that go around wounding..slicing..using..bright souls like me…and they enjoy it…

And it was replaced with this…freedom..such a simple word…freedom to think on my own..travel the path I am to be on..staying the course with the decision I made near 49 years ago at the age of one..

The decision…as the light appeared next to me..like a present wrapped in blue…it warmed..it protected and it healed the wound of being thrown across the room…the decision to walk in light..even if it meant my life ending…

And today at 50..I shake my fist at dark..at lies..at the list hate makes of crimes to do to others…and I have met those people…if I can call them that…

And remember the words of God…the universe..the souls of light…the promises…

I will be cared for..I will not go hungry..I will have shelter..and everything taken from me..will be returned..ten thousand times over…

Keep walking..keep smiling..even if it hurts..and let those tears flow…

The world is not dead yet..there is still hope…there are many a good soul out there..we have just been hanging with the wrong crowd…

Hope restored..life restored…Gratitude by the truckload…

Crusader…YEP….even if you do not like me…hey..somebody has to take the job…

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~ by HopeGlenn on September 4, 2012.

2 Responses to “Too dark….light back on…thanks for hanging….”

  1. There are dark days, indeed, for all of us. I hope you see a dawn soon, and walk with beauty, listening to the night chant.

    Like

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