Responsibility..

Responsibility..now that is a word which makes one run for cover..to the corner of the room..and avert all eye contact..

Responsibility…something in my life I have claim for..a possession..a person through love I am caring for..an event..circumstances which has been brought about by my own choices..things given to me by God..the universe..that have become my responsibility to care for…things like a home..an apartment..a job..a family..attitudes..thoughts..actions..just about everything…

Taking responsibility for many of us..usually entails involving ourselves..staking claim in something that is not ours..so when we have to play in the puddles of our own responsibilities..and see what we need to do in our own world..we become lost..stunned..forlorn..

We can see what everyone else needs to be doing..or we think they should be doing..thus we lose focus..perspective into our own responsibility..

Mine at this point is my relationships..my health..my home..and speaking..writing..about the events that make most of us squeamish..yet they are happening at such a prolific rate..I am knocked to the ground with the incredible numbers rising and rising….

I have wandered for a number of weeks..trying to locate..what is my responsibility…and I was standing in it..yes it can all be taken away in a heart beat…everything can…yet that is why I make sure every instant..every moment..I know my responsibility..and I do what I can with my responsibility..

I do not have to get..how the universe works it all out..and to be honest..I limit myself..I provide myself the short leash..scope..view as to why I have been given this home. and comparing it to those around me..I simply need to care for it…simple..

And how easily I can slip into the cesspool of loathing when I compare..when I say I do not deserve something..do not accept this gift..my responsibility..because another does not have it..I feed into a mentality supporting walking away..injury..

Responsibility for me entails simple thoughts..tasks…

Staying present…not closing off..looking about..yet not comparing…

Doing what I can..with what I have been given..and knowing much is asked to whom much is given…

I did not spend my life facing horrors to make up a fairytale…

I did not spend my life seeing injustice..to move along with a crowd..hoping justice will somehow find them..as long as they keep quiet and are pleasing….

I did not work the very best at the roles I was given..to have them taken from me..because someone did not like me..

Knowing..responsibility was a gift…despite the fact..it is hard to fight for oneself..and easier to fight for another..and look into what they need to be doing..

I do not want to miss a second..of this responsibility..I do not want to hand over those things to someone who has no idea..concept of me..too many of us do..

I fight for the responsibility to get proper care for my health…my home..for the time period it is my home..speaking..sharing..because too many have lost their voice…and not allowing anyone..no one..to tell me what the responsibility is..because I have the ability..the power..to know that…

It takes a moment..to slow down..take a breath..and see what I have entered into..

Responsibility…stop looking into the other yard..looking into the other space..stop comparing..and knowing what I am here to do..

Responsibility..time to get in..or out of the game…

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~ by HopeGlenn on July 16, 2012.

One Response to “Responsibility..”

  1. I can relate with this very well.

    Like

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