Freezing..Falling..Coloring…

Sleep is not coming tonight..no matter how long I pray..or sleep aid I take..my thoughts..my heart..will not let it allow..it has become my time to write my time to speak..my time to stumble upon these pages as the night creeps into morning..and I know I am not the only one..wishing..their head was resting upon a pillow or two..

The last few days..this week..has not been easy..on this body this frame..this mind..trying to deal with what this body has managed to pack into its existence..

It was not planned..it was not in my schedule..it was not on my “to do list”..yet obviously it was what the universe..the heavens..thought was the best..to get me from point a..and then to point b..because without that course over the last few days..and the removal of what I wanted..I would have never achieved..the “discovery”..of finding what I thought was lost…

Seizures hit me this week..freezing of my muscles..while others kept moving..to say the least..not fun..especially as one is standing precariously standing on a stair..taking a step..poised..not giving much thought..and one does not give much thought to taking a step..using a foot…even after being given a diagnosis of a disease..which will cause loss of that muscle..foot..hand..finger..hmmm…

I froze this week twice..and then tumbled…and then watched myself color…vividly..it brought tears to my eyes..only when I had to explain it to another..because it felt silly..like I had suddenly grown old..and I had..old with this disease..

Seizures from stress came because abuse was close..too close..and my brain reacted…and I remembered that which was lost..and I took it back…

And as worlds collided inside my body..and outside in the heavens..and struggles ensued..hope was regained..healing happened in some space..because I was able to rest…and give rest..and continue to love..always..

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~ by HopeGlenn on June 30, 2012.

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