Nudge…

A nudge in that direction..and I am ready to throw in the towel..give up on this thought..this desire inside of me..

A nudge in that direction… and I am ready to go back to doing what I think I do best..caring for others and cleaning toilets…what..?

A nudge in that direction…and I am back in the loop..no end… of doubting every word I have ever written..

A nudge in that direction..and suddenly I am upside down..swimming backwards..taking on water..and every thought is whacked..

This is part of the process..this is part of the journey..a journey by the way..I willingly and wholeheartedly want to be on..

The journey of jumping off the cliff..and realizing I can fly…

The journey of jumping into the roaring waterfall..and not hitting the rocks..

I have to stammer..reach for words..look at the creation of letters on crisp white paper..and think they may be useless words..

I did it..wrote the words..touched on subjects which made one feel queasy..

I wrapped it up in a package..and sent it out there into the world..and let them decide what they will..

But I did it..I went to the deep end of the pool..and jumped in..no floats..no lessons..just me..and I did not drown..

I set my life on course..over and over again..point after point..moment after moment..and became brave..

Not better or worse..not healthier or ill..

Just me..figuring out..this purpose..standing in it..bringing it full into reality..and realizing..no one could do this..better than me..

Bravery with a chuckle..I think I get a gold star for today…

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~ by HopeGlenn on June 21, 2012.

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