Living in the fish bowl…

Do unto others…

Service…

Reap what you sow…

Karma…

All words that either make you cringe..or smile..sit up straighter..look about..

To me..all good words..significant meaning..except when I decide it is time to beat me up..and compare myself to movie stars..icons in our me..me..world…

Do unto others..simple task..except when the outreach ignores those we have been given responsibility for..our own spirit is neglected..and it becomes showmanship…

Service..without a heart action..it becomes useless..or mandated..and to be honest..our society has become so skewered..we forget it is not about us..

Reap what you sow…maybe not in the next minute..but it comes back around..travels down the grapevine..makes an appearance..

Karma..what you put out..you get back..and usually in truckloads..heaping mountains..reactions..thoughts..based on what you are all about..inside..

Yet I cannot..and to be honest..most people cannot “do unto others”..”service”…until one figures out care for self..and what is appropriate behavior in an attitude toward self..

One may yell at the homeless youth..smoking with buddies..that all can be better..by being respectful to parents..yet perhaps we offer little respect to others..and self..and they are mirroring actions of our society..

One may think..or speak to the passenger in their car..as one is seen panhandling..”to get a job”..and stop being a “drunk”…yet we indulge ourselves in the privilege of gluttony..and alcohol..because we are deserving of it..because we have a job…that to be honest..we do half assed…

I can sit here..in my space..in angst..muddled..because this world is not recognizing me for all my “efforts”..

I can moan and groan..that I am a terror..so stay away..and in reality..in truth..I am searching..seeking for that one person..to see that I am scared..just like you..and the only way to stay protected..is to scream all the time..

I can say I got a grip on this or that..the disease..the unknowns..but I occasionally feel okay enough to do something which makes me smile..

Do unto others..service..karma..reap what you sow..valid..holds water..

I cannot do..unless I find what needs to be done in my own fishbowl..and I am doing it because it needs to be done..even if it gets me nothing but a kiss on the cheek..a smile..or even a blessed hug..no fame no popularity..no cash..

I cannot serve..until I define serve..in my capacity..not through a doctrine..institution..quote..

I cannot reap what I sow..until I go out and till up the ground..try..seek..look..peek into corners unknown..and stop deciding in my head..I already got someone or something figured out..believing that I know their heart and motive..because I do not..I only know mine..sometimes..and I can watch..listen..see a perspective..and decide if this person..or thing is something I want active in my life..and move from there.

Karma enacted through my words..my thought..put into action..even though one feels oblivious..and denies the power of thought..into action..I make the drama..whether in exhalation..or despair…appear right in front of me..

I can..and I have ranted about what is happening around me..and stick myself in the fishbowl..and think they way we have been programmed is it..truth..

All the meanwhile..the young kid..living on the streets..spending hours in the angry stance..is trying to figure out a way to get their parent’s attention..figure out the right thing to do..and how to eat..fear becomes a companion when basic needs are not met..drink..food..shelter..safety..and we think they do not deserve it because they offer disrespect..laziness..attitude..same things we do..

And the beggar on the corner..maybe an addict..maybe an alcoholic..most likely..same as many of us..living in our homes..just addicted in different ways..and I am not worried about the money I give that person..I am worried about my heart..and what was my motive..what is my thought behind it all..?..and did I offer them something forgotten..hope..

I have been there..spent a lot of time..trying to be presentable to the masses..trying to act like food..and drink was not needed..

Lived outside..faced hunger..faced dehydration..lived that life..

And maybe I have an advantage..because I have been there..traveled those roads..and I thought they were busy then..now it is like a super highway..

Do unto others…cannot when I have no idea what “do” is..

Service…kind of hard..when I believe everyone out there are not deserving..

Reap what you sow..whoa…profound words..no explanation needed..just sit back and watch..

Karma..it just happened…and I am glad..happy..I have stuck on this path..and aint going nowhere..

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~ by HopeGlenn on June 21, 2012.

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