It is a feeling….moment…day…?

After I awake each morning..have my toes hit the floor…. I am thankful I have another day…today is no exception…

Sunny skies and warmer weather have arrived in my part of the country..at least for the day…..

But today..I experience irony…beautiful skies..warmer breezes…sunshine filling the air…and I cannot get my brain to remember how to spell..put words together..to make my hands work…it is on vacation…but it is not time for one..I did not plan for this..it just happened…

And there is the irony..beautiful day…and I am feeling like a goof..a fool…because my body has decided it will not comprehend what one plus one is…it will not stop the shaking the tremor that has decided to take over my right side today..the problematic child…

I have deleted..written over..erased..words I wanted to say..and then when I saw them..I wondered who had entered my body and written them…

And so I do something today..go to a place..inside of me..I did not plan on..my brain

I had planned on gardening…dyeing some fabric..because I am in the middle of a project…writing more in my second book…making decisions…

I am going to have to spend my day..talking to my brain..asking it to let me walk without a stagger..so those around me will not think I am hungover from the night before..drunk would be more fun..if I can be that honest…I am going to have to hold my hand inside my pocket and keep it warm so it can unclench and the rigidity will back up..I will have to pause..and organize everything I say today…and then ask others what I said today..and I will remember that some think I am a burden..and do not understand my insecurity…my questioning of self…

And I will sit..in that sun..which greeted me with such wonderment today….and I will remember the words of a friend…

It is a good day..everyday is a good day…I am a good person…

And honestly this sucks….

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~ by HopeGlenn on April 29, 2012.

One Response to “It is a feeling….moment…day…?”

  1. I only press like because of your sharing of feelings and thoughts.

    Like

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