Is It Reality…

I have to admit I am a closet addict to reality shows..the ones that say this is not typical behavior as their warning label…yet label them “reality shows”…

It is the shows about powerful positions in the business empire..or surviving on a desert island like a spy in the secret service..forced to live off of a tube of toothpaste and a cigarette lighter…or the rich and elite struggling to survive off of a million a day and their nail got broken…

No the show I watch takes the viewer through the long, painful expanse of making one come toe to toe with their dreams and what will one do to achieve their dream..and the question arises..”does one really want that dream”…? It is the show of Project Runway which has covered ten years of show after show of gut wrenching..I did not mean to do that..I did not mean to say that…that is not me…episodes…and I will admit I am addicted..I noticed at first it was my love of fashion and design and fabric and how I saw others take all those swirling thoughts and plaster them on pages for years..and now they were coming to life right in front of their eyes..

I have tablets and scratch papers filled with designs..my closet thoughts of design..ones that few will see..yet if you watch the show with me..you will see my eyes light up..and fabric and draping..and design are my loves..my dreams…I can create a picture with words and have the reader be standing in the same room with me..even though they may be a thousand miles away..I can light up the room with quilts from colors and fabrics that make others gasp..yet I always wanted to make clothing..and have it fall on a form..a person and have them see how beautiful they are…because it is hard to see our beauty in our mundane clothes of everyday…

So I started watching Project Runway…and that moved into other fashion television and then I began the journey of purchasing the DVDs..and I found others with the same addiction I had and that gave me pause and made me view this from a completely different place..I was glad to see others having a dream of creation and taking view of the world through their eyes…yet I was interested to see..the reasoning..the want to engage ourselves in hours of watching the shows…

They are about human character..human response..supposedly under tough times..times of duress…times we are not supposed to ever really be in…and then I thought..curious..life is like that all the time..there is constant duress..constant instant quick decisions..not many moments for pause and reflection..just do it and now…and we tend to lean into doubting oneself from that first thought..that first response..and sometimes we really do not like that first thought…and say it is not us…we are under stress..

Yet I came to realize..as I watched the show and then paid a little more attention to myself..that the gut reaction..the first thing..is what we are about..and that..that squeamish thought that just darted across your mind is what we are..even if it is not quite as pretty as we would like it to be..

It does not mean it cannot be changed..realigned..adjusted..and looked at..and how it was created..yet it is real..it is part of us..and that makes us uncomfortable..that perhaps we are not the people we portray ourselves to be in our minds..I discovered things about myself..however they came about…which were quick judgements..and I had to sit with why I thought what I thought..and why some thoughts were getting airtime in my head…

The point of these shows is to grab people into the drama..to give you a day pass into those who have had the opportunity to be of the elite..those allowed by judges direction to attempt and please those we call celebrities..the glamorous..we give them clearance because we have allowed them to make the rules..and tell us what is acceptable and what is not…they give us the green light of being okay or not…

And then we place them in situations..and tell them to dance..to the tango..when they barely know how to waltz..we tell them to make dresses out of pretzels..and beat them down for adding color into their life and smiling…we give celebrities..the elite..the privilege to tell us we are worthy or not..we allow them to question oneself..to cause doubt..tears..and the reality of who we are..comes out..and we are surprised…

We are surprised that we are jealous..angry..lost hope..do not know what we want..and maybe being just a bit mean..and other people can see things in us..we tried very hard to keep bound and gagged in the back of the closet..and we are surprised again..over and over..

And some of the greatest things happen..to some…some go away… as the judges tear them apart..and give them the thumbs down vote…they go back to a life and forget they ever wanted to make beautiful things just for them and have just one person think it was nice…

Some fight tooth and nail and claim they have a heart of gold..while chewing people up like snacks throughout the day..and when put into a tighter vice than reality moments..they spew hate..which is really fear decorating the thoughts in their minds pretty…and these are the ones which scare me the most..

The ones which say..”this is not me”…I would not do that in “real life”…I am kind..considerate…I am just under pressure…

Is not life pressure…? are we not placed under a microscope thousands of time during the day…? do we not encounter the scrutiny and judgement of family..co-workers..friends..acquaintances..continually…?…do we not have to answer the inner critic every second of every day..? Yes…

So to say this is abnormal behavior is a lie..to say people do not act like this is again a lie..to say I do not make snap judgements and reactions to others moment after a moment is a lie..yet I have chosen to look at why..to step back and watch myself..to pay attention to what I say..and what I think..and why do I pummel on my being harder than anyone else…yet that holds another painful dynamic..if I cannot see the beauty in this person..I will rarely..see it in another..

So sit back and watch a reality show..I suggest Project Runway..or 24 hour Catwalk..you can get some great design ideas moving in your head..and the artists out there..which I think is everyone..can be spurred into seeing the common person making a creation..one that came from them…these shows are the least brutal on people than some of the others I have watched..and if you can get past the catty behavior and personal judgements made like scatterings..you will be motivated..and will learn about human behavior and quite possibly about oneself…and that was priceless…

You will discover we are all in this together..and some want to play well with others and some do not…you will see how we treat people in our society and what we give our blessing to..you can see what behavior is really like..and maybe make a reaction different..and more your own..and with great power..perhaps one can claim themselves…and think they are fabulous without celebrities telling you are or are not..perhaps you can here it from your partner..your friend..the thank you for the door you just held open..maybe you can hear it from you..

That is what I hope…you get it..

Watch the show.. sit with a friend…see people interact..laugh..yell at the television..and smile..I found a passion of mine..a desire… kept hidden because I did not want anyone to poo-hoo it and tell me it was not worth my time…

Funny I discovered what was worth my time..my thoughts..my moments…it is called life…

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~ by HopeGlenn on April 12, 2012.

One Response to “Is It Reality…”

  1. Good confessions!
    Absolutely honest and forthright in revealing the human conditions that we all share. Okay now I think I will confess a couple of, so called, reality shows that I secretly enjoy .. let’s see what I can say about myself through them okay?
    Hmm .. one is that show called “Hoarders”. This is a very personal caracature study on everyday people who have big time troubles with collecting or not cleaning up their living area for years because of traumatic events in their lives. I think that maybe we all know one or two in our midst of aquaintences. I was raised by one such of a person.

    The other show that I enjoy and I am really entertained by is that goofy, but very serious human emotions involved, it’s called “Tabitha Takes Over”.
    Without going on or any more random thoughts that is what I want to contribute to your candid and thought provoking confession here.

    I think your explaination is in proper detail on certain points.
    I should say that watching these types of shows can in fact be very educational and enlightening .
    Now I want to look for this “Project Runway” show.
    Thank you again for another good read dear Mandy.
    I am personally getting to know more about you in many different ways.
    This also it helps me to think about different areas in my life and personality as well.
    It’s a good challenge to read between the line sometime, I think.
    Is that sort of what you mean by taking longer pauses?
    See ya later gator.
    *Jeannine

    Like

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