A bit of fermentation…..

Many events have transpired over the last week…met some amazing souls..and felt as if I could engage myself in conversation with them for many, many an hour… and with each one I was allowed to see a facet of them and then of myself…

That point..seeing a facet of them has always been an easy…viable ability of mine…perhaps because I enjoy watching people..observing how they engage themselves in their life..and listening to what is spoken to me either through the movement of their mouths or through the written form…

We do indeed live in a technological world which permits..or better put(by our own choice)the availability to communicate in ways which require little if any means of verbal communication..so it has become a lost art form..a safe haven…a protection advantage..a means of keeping most of the world at bay..at the appropriate distance…

Yet..because we have made the text…email..and social networking sites our means of communicating..we have become lost..muddled and confused as to who another is..and quite personally who we are…it is in those quick moments of text of retorts and “like” and “dislike” buttons on our sites…and embellishment of our physical attributes through network dating…that we have become something we cannot define…

So it was in these moments of opportunities..where I was engaged with another in face to face conversation that another aspect or discovery of myself and another was made…and for that I am most grateful…because it removed the misconceptions and the assumptions I had..and others placed on myself…

Maybe it was easier because I had delved into my world of book writing..maybe it was because I had edited and added in parts of my life and personality dimensions…and memories I had locked away because they did not fit into my life..maybe that was the reason…or perhaps I was doing something..receiving something I had been doing all along…listening….

My first encounter was about three weeks ago…in a laundromat…my washing machine had been broken and as most people know it was not cheap to fix….and I had discovered it was cheaper to go do laundry out of my home..than within it due to all the costs of the utilities…I also enjoy doing laundry out of my home…it allows me to view the world..see people doing tasks which are required to run their lives….I get to see people be “normal”..like me…

I met a person as I was attempting to squeeze my way through the maze of tables, carts and people all doing their laundry on the one free day..or task day we give ourselves each week…each person watching their clothes..drying their clothes and many flipping through magazines leftover from previous customers..

As I asked to squeeze by I was greeted with warm words and a small smile emerged from my lips…most likely because of two reasons…laundromats, grocery stores, department stores, banks…tend not to be places one encounters happy, gracious, kind people….others are in a hurry..need to get to places and get other things done…and the second reason is because I rarely hear sweet words directly from a person I could actually touch…so I smiled….

I was observed and they were observed…as we both went about our methodical means of caring for our clothes..something I noted…we do better at caring for our clothes than care for ourselves…I found it soothing to be doing something step by step..common to all of us…and healing in a crazy sort of way…

I found I was part of the group..the crowd…it allowed me to feel like I fit in..and I allowed another to feel like they fit in..the general attitude in the laundromat eased and smiles and laughter..children playing..and life emerged in this space…we all had moments..where everything that was bearing down on us left and we all needed clean underwear…

That made me smile for days and I have had the privilege of having this person in my life in the days which followed..and they have allowed me to view myself from another space..another direction..and I have also been the vessel for them to view themselves from another perspective…each of us..including the strangers in the room…all found ourselves in this commonality…and comfort we all so need…

I then a few days ago I was given the opportunity to enter another space..see what they valued…see what they thought about…and feel so comfortable in their presence as if I was wearing my oldest pair of jeans..with the permanent knee marks and the big old sweater that has become so soft and comforting…it was like that..and that is something I thought no longer existed…something I thought had lost its space in our world…and I had discovered human connection..and I found it was something I craved..and knew I could no longer go without…

Each of these persons allowed me to view myself from another view..and I must say it was not through the crazy..swoopy…fun house glass…it was me..there and present…

It allowed me to bring my book to a place..which allows me to rest for a moment in time..it allowed me to see this part of me which is craving..calling..and beseeching my presence…that I have slightly tucked away…by being shown something that was my passion..I was allowed to see another person’s passion..and to have that done for you… and you do that for another is the best high..you will ever get..anywhere…

I was able to see through my second encounter a belief system of pure benevolence…pureness and truth..simplicity..carrying on..dealing with life..pursuance of wholeness…and a smile that wiped away any doubts I had of me..and that this world had no hope..

Yes there is great troubles in this world..great pain..and it seems to be amplified by the technology we have made by our own hands…I do not believe it has increased..I think our knowledge of it has increased…because I know as a child..being abused…I was not the only one..I know the haunting look in the eyes and the steps forward as we approached home…

Yet I know that discovery…given to another…wherever we come from..wherever we are going is beyond excellent…it is a vessel of healing…it is like going to that place that gives you peace..it is that knowing you are seen and your dreams are worth battling for..and in that discovery of you and that battle…we make this better..we heal..we remove one more person’s self hate..misconception…and lies because they are allowed to breath…

So today..I will sit on the couch…with the heating pad on my spine to keep my body viable…and I will grasp in my hands which are failing..the fabric..the thread..the color…and smile..because..if I have the courage to love myself..do what this heart is calling for this moment..I am mending..I am easing…and yes I am stopping some aspect of the pain..this world carries..

Because as they say..yet today I say it…”It starts with me…”

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~ by HopeGlenn on March 7, 2012.

6 Responses to “A bit of fermentation…..”

  1. As always you transport me to where you are like i was there right by you to see what you see and feel what you feel with your words. To get a front row seat you a part of your world.Inot your heart. thank you Mandy.love you

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  2. It is difficult to deal in times like these when, no matter how much you want or try, we cannot change our destiny.

    Your friendship/presence in my life means so much to me.
    I would not be the type of person I am today without your kindness.

    I want you to know that I love you and that you will always be with me wherever I may be.

    Thank you for being such an amazing friend.

    I believe, next to love, sympathy is the divinest passion of the human heart.
    This I hold for you Mandy.

    Best Regards,
    *J.R.

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  3. P.S.

    I wish I could be as expressive about cool things like you wrote here.
    Believe it or not, I was in this same type of realm at the same times as you..

    Cool and proper ay.

    Great stories!
    Wonderfully expressed too.
    Love you.

    Like

  4. Cleansing , and peaceful.

    Like

  5. you are always in my heart Mandy ❤

    Like

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