Simplicity….

Today the sun has decided to show itself and warm the ground..after a night of wind and rain…

yellow has settled upon the light horizon and splays itself across the trees peeking forth from behind each other…

birds sit happily on the branches and croon their faces to the light…and the blue is reflected in their eyes…

crickets..and frogs who live outside my windows in the makeshift pond I created…speak to me and ask me to join them…and enjoy their lullaby of simplicity…

windows and curtains are opened..pale blue..green..and pink curtains dance… as the wind picks them up and gently carries them down…sudden bursts parade and boast..and send new air..new thoughts..new light into this space…I walk by a window and the sheer curtain..caresses my hands..and implores me to look at the newness appearing in this world today…

my body has beseeches me to rest today…it says I should after a night of delving forth into memories..memories that contain my life..memories…it also asks me to rest..because the disease is being important now…so as the wind lifts the curtains…and the breeze twinkles through the chimes I rest…for a time..and then progress into the warming stillness of what the day after brings..

i have been cleaning house..not your traditional cleaning house..yet when I take a step in one direction of the emotional sense..I am pushed forward into an area of my home which needs shifting..sorting..cleaning..I am told in my brain that I should clean..organize..do dishes..maybe walk and exercise..because this body has aged…and a disease is present..

but I cannot..at least not this moment..because I want to remember something…I want to remember the pinch of stepping out of the… this is what you have been told you are world….into this is what I am world..I want to delve back and be eight..yes eight..and remember what is was like to be with my siblings in the Colorado sunshine..I want to remember nothing but that..not the abuse..nasty words..or evil that ran the world then and runs it now..

I want to slip my hand in my brother’s…and drink orange soda from a bottle and then hear him whistle a tune..because I could never whistle..I want to walk away from my father and gather all the pictures of my mother he threw in the apartment dumpster…

I need this..these moments..spaces in time..to see me again and my brothers and sisters…I need to..to get through the rest of this week..to face the book again and write the words which change everything…I need this..sunshine..crickets..frogs..blue sky..birds..and curtains dancing in the breeze…

because later as I write..I remember..and I am troubled…because I would like to say these are just silly thoughts..silly thoughts that I have nothing to fear from them…but they are not..silly thoughts..they are thoughts which contain power..angst..truth..and they are thoughts no quote..song..or hug can take away..yet I can face them with a bit more ease..a bit more hope..and know that I have a reason to feel the way I do today..a reason to enjoy this beauty viewed from my space..me looking out..without thinking I must make this go away…

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~ by HopeGlenn on March 1, 2012.

One Response to “Simplicity….”

  1. Its great as your other blog posts : D, thankyou for posting .

    Like

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